this is where your herbs come from

southern china herb factory

NOW

There is NOTHING to be afraid of. 

There is NO risk. 

What's the worst thing that could happen? 

You could die? 

You will die anyways. 

And, most likely, you won't die anytime soon. 

You've got quite a long road ahead of you still, like it or not. 

But, time goes by quickly and it could all end in a millisecond. 

So, what do you CHOOSE to do with your ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE? 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING right NOW?

Are your actions in line with your values? 

Are you living the Life of your Dreams? 

If not... then WHY NOT? 

There is NOTHING holding you back. 

There is NOTHING to be afraid of. 

Once you commit to the jump, all the World will rush to hold and support you in preparation of your inevitable landing. 

And, that landing

that commitment 

that risk...

What is Life, if not one huge risk, one huge leap, one huge YES!

And then, another risk, another leap, another YES! 

And then another, and another... 

and sometimes they are leaps, 

and other times, they are just steps.

And every single time, it is a SURRENDER to all the Universe that sometimes whispers and sometimes shouts, 

I LOVE YOU! 

TRUST me. 

Live the Life of your dreams,

and jump. 

Do not be afraid, for THERE IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF. 

Smile at the person sitting next to you on the subway. 

Climb that pretty tree with the inviting branches that you walk by everyday.

Flirt with the cutie you've been secretly staring at from the other side of the room.

Eat the cookies you've been saving for "that special occasion." 

The "special occasion" is NOW. 

Go to all the places you've always dreamed of going to. 

Money is not an issue. It will arrive when needed. 

Catch a bus ride to somewhere you've never been before, and just walk. 

Stick out your thumb, smile, see what happens. 

Dance in the streets. 

Sing songs to strangers. 

Show up in group photos with people you just met. 

Smell all the pretty flowers you pass by. 

Do all things you'd always said, "No, I wouldn't dare," or, "maybe tomorrow," or, "but..." 

If I commit to this flip, this leap, this spin, twirl, twist, full complete action that my body is fully CAPABLE of doing but my mind is AFRAID of doing... 

if I remain afraid, then I will fail. And I will, most miserably, fall. 

But, if I COMMIT to this action, and I TRUST... even in all my not knowing, I TRUST... 

then that trust places everything else in place for successful flight and a strong landing... and flip, leap, spin, twirl, or ANYTHING... yes, I can. Yes, I trust. YES! I dare. 

Our body-mind-heart-spirit selves are just as YES as we allow ourselves to be. 

找工作與休息

我今天整天呆在家裡休息， 睡覺， 做夢， 唸書， 與畫畫。。。 好爽哦！下午去植物園看蓮花和靜坐。。。 好棒， 好舒服。。。 

昨天曾老師給我針灸， 這幾天喝豆腐師哥的中藥， 跟阿凱師哥聊天。。。 我感冒一定會好的。今天。 now. 

又在找工作了。。。 需要很好的幫手嗎？ :) 

am searching for taiwan jobs again... 

let me know if you need some excellent help ;) 

LOVE!!!

venus

five rhythms: flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical, stillness

each a single dance, together a circle 

five seasons, including the transitions between the seasons 

a time of great movement and resting 

five elements: water births wood, births fire, births earth, births metal, 

and then back to the source again, around and around 

and it's all connected

each a single dance, and together another circle 

circles within circles and intersecting circles 

chinese traditional dances and movement meditations in circles

western tradition moving in lines and angles 

five tastes, five emotions, five yin organs, six yang organs

correspondences moving and moving in on and on circles 

and i wonder how on earth does an alien who wants to be an earthling again manage to move back into the circle 

how does one summon up bravery to say, YO! i wanna be part of your circle 

and I'M NOT AFRAID to love and live and laugh

and cry so hard that all the neighbors poke their heads out the windows far enough for all the alien (who are not alien) plants and sky and other friends all SEE 

and smile 

been coughing now for a full month 

lungs/ chest area is connected with metal element

and time of autumn transition 

and too much internal fire 

and emotion of sadness 

everytime i see venus in the sky at night 

(she shines so brightly especially in the mountains, but even under the vegas-style nonstop city lights) 

i remember every place and all the people i know and love 

and i feel the love 

but i also feel sad 

it's one thing to say "i don't miss you... i love you know. and i know you know the difference." 

and it's another thing to feel like 

time passes by so quickly 

and i wonder when/ if i will ever see you again 

in the key of WEEE

eyes that see

每個禮拜如風而飛過去。 風飛過去， 會留著這兒一片移動的葉子， 那兒幾滴小水珠。 風是控制不了的。 

I spend about half my week in the 平地 areas, and the other half of my week 在此山中。 （half my week easy to find in the city... somewhere zooming around via bike, fast little turbo legs, or subway... teaching or being taught... reading or writing... eating or sleeping... and the other half of my week allowing myself to be "nobody" again and absolutely 沒用的木頭會活得最久 in the midst of so much family and forest in the mountains) 

it is the type of balance that makes the two months I've already been in Taiwan feel like... I've crammed a lot into one week. It feels like one week. 

我的媽媽要回來台灣了！ 

是第一次我媽媽跑來看我！

usually I'm in more remote/ difficult to find/ difficult to understand places. This time, I'm in Taipei,Taiwan. My parents grew up here, and then left for school. This is no longer Home-home... but it's still a home. Coming here is no big deal... just about a 15 hour flight across the Ocean to the other side of the planet, where everyone looks completely different than your usual American white bread, and we all speak a different language here. 

And, I LOVE it!!!

I love it. 

And, I'm gonna see my mama again, after a year! 

Already a year away from America. 

I miss people and I miss places... and I wonder when I will return. 

If I return. 

今天想到很多時間上的問題。 

（live your questions. be your answer.) 

在針灸課， 我們剛剛談到眼。。。 eye-diagnosis (Chinese medicine diagnoses= 1. 把脈/ pulse diagnosis 2. tongue diagnosis 3. eye diagnosis 4. sensory diagnosis: evaluating the patients' smell, how they look, how they sound 5. questioning: asking about the patients' environmental, personal, emotional, and other elements of life that all come together to quite super duper holistically manifest themselves in their health and general well-being)

not as complicated as it sounds, and absolutely fascinating 

learning about eye-diagnosis, I look into the mirror and see that I have accumulated way too many late-nights in my life... and my eyes record all these late nights as far too many blood vessels popped and squeezed to the edges of my entire eyeball

our body as a microcosm of the macrocosm 

my body, my Universe

this Universe, oh how I want to take the best care of you! 

前天晚上， 老師幫我下眼針。。。 我怕針， 我怕痛！ 

現在， 要少帶眼鏡， go to sleep between 11-12 at night, eat more C (橘子， 獅子， 柚子， 木瓜， 紅蘿蔔， 白蘿蔔， 番薯。。。）

a fight ensues on the metro

never seen this before 

young woman yelling at old man yelling at young woman

they spit at each other 

why don't you just punch each other, roll around, get it over with 

but, i am glad you are yelling 

i want to yell too, but i will wait until i get back into the mountains 

the city is too small and tight for such passionate energy 

everyone's got it all bottled up 

not me

off for another mountain weekend 

see you in the trees

toilet humor

I walk by the bathroom

"hello teacher Osha!" a kid declares with pants around ankles

a bathroom stall opens

"Teacher Osha!!!" the kid inside sticks his head out, "I am shitting!"

kindergardener kids always make me smile, no matter how tired I get!

wonder? want?

My dance teacher won't come up the mountain with me for body therapy. He has an old hurt shoulder. My Chinese medicine teacher isn't certified, so my dance teacher is afraid. But, he says that once I finish learning these things, he will trust me to help him with his shoulder. Sometimes, you need to meet people first to trust them? But can't I say "If you would trust me... won't you trust my teacher?" But, no.

 

I carry my book of meridians with me everywhere. My Chinese is improving. The weight of the book in my bag gives me a strong back. This morning, I stuck three large body-meridian-human pictures onto my wall, across from my bed, in my small room. It's the first thing I see when I wake up, besides the loving sweet light of yet another day filtering in through the windows. I love waking up in the mornings.

 

So much to learn. So much to help. So many ways to help.

 

Me first, before anyone else.

Can help myself and simultaneously help others.

Sometimes feel completely overwhelmed by all I want to learn... feel like I cannot learn fast enough.

My dance teacher has hurt shoulder.

My other dance teacher has hurt knees.

My own knees hurt.

I still have trauma from the mountain, that we will discuss with the whole class, next class.

I want to climb endless mountains.

I want to play outside all day, and dance until I can dance no more.

I want to make music and make love until sun comes up and keep on doing it until my eyes are bloodshot and weary, and I die from exhaustion.

I want to sleep forever and just rest so fully in some hot spring right next to the coldest stream on earth in the most remote and gorgeous mountains unknown by human eyes.

My friend has difficulty falling asleep and wakes up feeling like something is not quite right in her life... something not quite fulfilled.

I can talk with her, but how to push her over the edge, how to help her get going. Because that's what we both agree she needs... to get going with what is unfulfilling, and move it forward in her life.

Another friend just got booted off his under-the-table job, and now has no money to pay for debts.

I wonder if I too should go to grad school and accumulate debt and learn a lot and then enter the world with yet another degree and even less money than I have now.

I wonder

I want

 

Today, we learned about manipulation and locomotion in dance class.

I am beginning to feel restless and desire to locomote again,

while at the same time feeling so deeply grateful to be here surrounded by all these amazing friends, teachers, and family family family of all colors and varieties, and am contemplating challenging myself by staying here for a year, like I stayed in Connecticut for a year.

 

I wonder

 

I want?

oh, Love

For some reason, there's all this love that comes with blood relations. And with that love, there comes so much pain and suffering, too. And honesty, in all its graceful and awkward bright beauty and frightening hideousness. 

What if I feel more connection with my non-blood family than with my blood family? What if there are few points of clear connection with those that perhaps love me most... but just can't understand me? And then, I find other family that I can connect with on so many more levels than just love and blood... but I keep on leaving each new family I create for myself? 

Dearest Yin and Yang, guess I just need to (keep on with the keep on) find that elusive (yet so blatantly obvious) point of BALANCE. 

什麼都要平和與和平。 

深呼吸， 吧。。。 

and then? 

感恩

感恩

全部的宇宙

美麗的計劃

送我今日

這個身體

這個空氣

這些老師， 家人， 朋友們

心中充滿了感恩， 歡喜， 大愛

friday

For the first time since returning to Taiwan, I spent the whole day at home yesterday

cooked fabulous colorful healthful barely-cooked simply delicious meals 

savored them slowly 

painted lewd completely nude pictures in blatant black and white 

walked, danced, skipped, crawled, ran around with skin in direct contact with air 

read about breath, body, and meridian matters on a nice brown and soft bed of squishy cotton and even squishier belly

dreamed about lands, plants, and people more distant--- and more near--- than i could ever imagine 

reveled all day in my small abode in the middle of this huge taipei city 

and then packed my bags and headed back up into the mountains for another mountain weekend 

miracles

maciej and i sat under the slide in the park, eating fruit, with rain pouring down around us above the slide, and thunder and lightning... and huge smiles on our faces 

we could talk forever 

next time, we dance 

biking back to school, i coughed up a bright yellow solid loogy into my hand 

it's been two weeks 

i can't believe i am still coughing with so much wind in my lungs and loogies galore 

this morning i woke up with a solid dream

my elder bill and i talking, calm and comfortable

he asks me when i will return to see him and another elder, as i am leaving 

i say, maybe between 1-4 years? 

he says, we're dying you know

come back 

i thought about that dream my whole ride down the mountain 

been thinking about death lots lately 

i am grateful for death and life

next time the moon is full again, regardless of weather, i will climb up some high area and howl at the moon 

and laugh with wild abandon at how nicely the cold wind pulls at all the 700 trillion cells dancing in my body

dance and anatomy

dance classes and anatomy classes seem to touch the same things 

but different modes of exploration and learning 

yesterday, 6 hours of movement exploration 

mostly on diverse ways of movement transportation

(we can roll, walk, hop, and more... different levels of movement too...) 

and extension（伸縮）, contraction (收縮), and rotation（扭轉） of our limbs 

in dance, learning of different levels of movement: different heights, different exaggerations

fun to tie this in with my anatomy classes and acupuncture class

teacher Wang says that i look more and more tired each class

he asks if perhaps i have overpacked my schedule? 

i love everything i am doing right now and am slowly sculpting away that which does not feel directly pertinent to my life 

teacher has old back pain that i can't wait to learn how to help 

me? i have old wrist pain and leftover trauma in body

we will discuss my trauma in acupuncture class

i am excited to see how we will work with my body, and what result will be 

i made a promise to myself, maybe a year ago now? 

there are sooo many healing modalities 

i could spend many lifetimes learning them all 

so i need to focus 

how to choose? 

i think that... the modality that heals (or reintegrates. or whatever word you plug on.... you know my meaning) 

that which helps me, i have affinity with (有緣） 

and that one i will give my life to (share my life with) 

and help many many people in return 

samadhi- mountain weekend

today, 

taiji in the rain. dancing under the eaves. feeling my light shadow silouette self through the open door while watching the rain. 

fingers on my legs that understands not just bodies but soul and heart too

eyes that see and faces that smile like month-old babies whose eyes see more clearly than any of us ever will again... until it's time to go again 

needles into my neck that barely glances my throat, and needles into my feet and hands

me sending needles into my friend and feeling the chi flow and not feeling the chi flow and "keep pulling the needle out and then putting it back in until you can feel the chi flow" 

questions from another foreigner that both amuse me, and also send me sprinting in my mind to places of self-doubt and wondering. questions like "what is chi?" such questions that a "real" taiwanese gal should never ever need to ask 

do i really have no questions and just want to watch, wonder, and absorb... or am i too proud to ask my questions. or am i too afraid 

yesterday, 

tears soaking into tatami mat, soft cotton blankets, silk dress. rain outside. memories of present gifts of now momentous pain and so much past 

so much falling away so quickly 

every moment faced with such huge life, such huge death 

my friend is leaving for a month and i will miss her 

we spend hours in a noisy mall searching for the perfect pair of traveling shoes for her 

it's not goodbye but 

i really do hate goodbyes 

morning hike with other friend up to the mouth of the old volcano on the highest mountain range in taipei county 

it fills up with water after typhoons and reflects all the sky in its grandious waters surrounded by mountains, this old volcano mouth 

no water yesterday but plenty of wind, small rain, and wild grasses 

"why do you travel so much?" a new friend asked me during anatomy class break

"well..." my Brain blanks out, and my Self responds, "i have an affinity with the wind" (in chinese, "我跟風有緣“) 

yester yesterday

wild hot springs 

adventures into beautiful places 

silent car ride looking out window and wondering at the changes in me 

now i rather enjoy car rides... more than i used to, at least 

i have changed a lot since justin and connecticut, when i would dread our morning commute and my toes would curl and my inner organs would scream the whole ride 

now carrides feel like adventure and a rare treat (a luxurious private car instead of a bus or subway filled with coughing people? sweet!) 

beach and rocks with ancient gorgeous patterns 

forever mama ocean crashing and sculpting against rock 

chinese medicine, five element theory 

i keep running through the relationships in my head

i will begin to paint again, as well as dance, read, teach, be taught, hike, and taste chi and cells through every anatomical and spirit filled pore of my very being Being

the night i went into the mountains this round 

a very yellow dinner (thanks dear peng you friend elder beloved papa figure) 

with cat on my lap purring (black ears up, tail wagging)

my friend doctor mentor big brother tofu touches my body gently

he knows my fall-off-mountain story 

they all seem to know my story here in the mountains, small family that is rather huge

they all know about this girl who climbs trees, dances, wants to learn everything, speaks both chinese and english, and looks and sounds rather odd or exotic... not sure. 

tofu touches softly for trauma, and then moves in, tui na style... 

i am learning so much about the body, my body, and through all this body stuff... feeling feeling feeling so very very much 

feel sadness for the pain i caused my family falling off mountain 

six years ago 

my body is still holding onto trauma 

ohhh let go, already, my darling! 

need to let go of this before i get old and then too brittle to let things go and just fall apart

i am young and can still move in authentic ways... 

move back towards the brilliancy of babyhood as we crawl around in the grass, balance on logs and stones, and climb trees like small monkeys when actually we are big adults 

i'm lighter than i look

i can actually fly... 

and fall...

and land gently and perfectly on my big cushy ass that my friend ager is certain can bear many children (not yet, i tell him) 

hey soul, come home 

hey body, i love you 

guess what, integrated whole? 

i can actually fly... 

and fall...

and land gently and perfectly 

yes 

welcome home, my darling 

Government

Before I went to China, I heard so many horror stories.
Within America, I heard so many horror stories about my own government.
Now outside of America, I still hear horror stories.
Go to different countries, hear different stories of that country as
well as its peoples' perspectives on other countries. Fears,
prejudices, and assumptions.
What is truth?
I feel really confused about what is "good" as far as government
goes... and how to help.
Now, back in college atmosphere, seeing... some students are aiming
for money with their college education. Others heartfully want to help
as many people as possible in the brief duration of their lifetime,
and hope that college will aid this. Where are we going? How do our
hopes, dreams, intentions later manifest? How does government mold or
change this? Aid, or deter us from living our authentic selves?

I am committed to my 100 trillion cells and solid comforting thump of
my heartbeat, feeling of blood rushing through veins.
Gandhi said be the change you wish to see.
What change do YOU wish to see?

(Me. I govern myself.)

Teacher Wu dance class

All throughout class, we pay attention to our breathing, especially our exhalations. We let out our exhales with a loud "Ha!" during warm-ups and cool-downs. At the end of each class with Teacher Wu, we bring attention to our breathing again, and pat down our whole body. We're saying thank you to our bodies for the hard work of carrying us through our lives, and thanks for all the exertion we put body through during class, and all the opening... and patting down the body to close up our pores again, and really seal the gratitude into our system... and integrate all the gifts and lessons of class. A brief moment of silence as we're down to our toes, (and I'm rooting and grounding myself with much joy), and then, BA! back to life outside of Teacher Wu's dance class... and I will carry all this with me through each inhale exhale and movement through all my walking waking being moments of conscious existence.
And then, sleep?
My dreams are blessed. 100 trillion cells at peace, at rest, and slowly slowly slowly gently making love with themselves as my muscles release, relax, and shavasana enfolds me in bliss.

我愛我的細胞 - we are 100 trillion dancing cells

We've got about 100 trillion cells in our body.
There's over 200 different types of cells.
They are all unique, like us humans are all unique… yet basically the
same composition.
The cells come together like humans come together… to make something
larger than themselves.
They live and do their thing, they reproduce, they get old, they die.
Each cell will reproduce/ split about 40-50 times…
And then?
We die.
So, I asked my anatomy teacher…
How do we make our cells split/ reproduce slower?
My teacher laughed, and said…
Well, we are in a constant state of action, and movement. We are
alive. This is just how we are. We can't just spend our whole day in
rest mode.
So, rest mode means slower cell splitting?
Yes…
Dear friends, may you rest well, sleep enough, meditate often, breathe
deeply, and practice the shavasana yoga asana daily (corpse pose---
lying supine with consciously relaxed muscles)!
May all 100 trillion of your cells be happy, relaxed, and slowly
slowly slowly reproducing!
Love from anatomy-student land… : ）

samadhi- 早上

今天早上， 我翹課。 我沒去上我的畫人體課。 我快樂的躺在床上享受給我自己空間和時間來好好的閱讀我的英語中醫書， 聽聽aaron
以前給我的音樂， 和吃自己煮的豐富早餐。 生活過得太快了。。。 讓我特別的感謝給我自己呼吸和休息的時間。 雖然我今天翹課了，
但是我感覺我做了個很好的決定。 以後有可能不上那堂課了。 時間太趕了。
This morning, instead of just inhaling a pomelo and rushing out the
door to get to class, I skipped class… and I actually cooked up a
scrumptious meal, ate it slowly, and then laid belly down on my bed to
read my Chinese Medicine book, with soft morning light pouring into my
window, the soothing pit pat of rain outside, gentle bluegrass music
from Aaron playing, and a handmade clay cup with steaming sweet red
flower tea.

samadhi

life is bliss

今天晚上是第一堂針灸科。 好有趣哦！但是， 我感覺有點兒overwhelmed。。。我在上兩個不同的人體解剖課。 兩堂課都聽不太懂，
趕不太上。 我們需要念很多書， 但我都還沒念。。。 我也要學英文， 和死背中文字。 好難。。。 我也要陪朋友： Tara, Marina,
Kider, 阿紀， 阿格， 阿福哥。。。 感覺像怎麼樣， 時間都不夠！也要陪家人。。。 也要練按摩，陪針灸豆腐老師和曾老師， 練舞蹈，
練太極， 和參加這個這個那個那個活動。。。 台北真熱鬧哦！ 我已經六年多都在野外， 來了台北才回來城市。。。 半年以前回來， 好不習慣！
但這次， 朋友比較多， 活動也比較多。 我雖然感覺忙翻了， 但也十分滿足！我好愛我的台北家人與親朋好友！

today

We are rotating our hips and opening up the core center of our bodies. Teacher says to move from this core. I remember Kider say for Feldenkrais workshop, they say to move from spine, like led by spine. Different ways of movement. Lead by core, or lead by spine... posture like a little invisible rope from the sky holding me up, suspending my body in the air. Held up by sky, held down by gravity, suspended right in the middle, both floated and grounding. And this is how our dance and our movement has power.

In tai chi (I haven't gone to my regular morning practice for about a week now. Had small cold last week. This week, am dancing instead. I miss my morning tai chi people... and wonder how I can fit EVERYTHING into my schedule... and, I cannot. And, it's more than perfectly fine.) So, in tai chi... also, in all my dance classes: weight transfer from one side to another, then some body part leading the movement, and rest of body following. Effortless and graceful, and relaxing as well. In my Wednesday dance classes with Teacher Wu, we will learn to fly... he says his classes are designed to OPEN OPEN OPEN us up in all the ways we've always kept ourselves closed... and we will become weightless, and fly. Oooooh... and then in jazz class, our movements are "knife cutting tofu": sharp and precise. Modern dance is a combination of gentle opening and ripping openings. When I brush my teeth, gentle force of horse stance: feet apart shoulder width, weight down, knees slightly bent right over feet... and then pelvic circling and opening opening opening...

lub-a-lub-lub Love

I don't have much computer time. But, the days that I do have computer access, I want to write a small blurb each day about something. Anything rather ordinary yet meaningful that catches my attention, and deserves to be remembered and shared. Enjoy. :)

"The English teacher is in the bathroom stall next to you!" a small kid proclaimed to another kid in the bathroom today. I felt rather self-conscious about my large feet sticking out of the bottom of the bathroom stall. And then, they waited for me to come out afterwards, to see if it really was me.
"Hi teacher Osha," they walk by with beaming smiles.
A girl leans against the book shelf. She is singing the song that I've been sharing with them for the past few classes. Maybe this is only my third class with them? She sings it perfectly. I've taken the big-Washington-tree song from Orchard Hill Farm ("uma uma uma yay...") and added words to it adapted from a different African song, and then I fitted it to teaching basic English to small children. ("Hello, hello... how are you? Welcome to my village! Hello, welcome here! Welcome to my village! Welcome to our village!") Today, also taught "standing like a tree" (thanks Teaching Drum, Chelsea, Lety, and all the women of every women's circle I've ever been part of), including the dance... and "round and round we go" (thanks Teaching Drum again, and Two Coyotes and all my Connecticut and other connected families!) I am glad that my night-teaching classes are over. Now, kindergardeners are high energy, laugh a lot, and exude playful loving energy that just sends all the phlegm and cold autumn-transition sickness straight out of my system, and my cheeks are sore from smiles.
Am starting to tutor a little 6 year old who reminds me so sweetly of the Teaching Drum clan kids, and my small Coyotes from already a year ago. I miss my small coyotes... the little girl here started out very shy. Then when she opened up... it is like watching the first rays of morning sun hitting the baby leaves of the plant I just planted this morning. Exquisite, radiant, precious beauty, and miracle of life.
In Sunday Taichi, new friends have a baby named Agor. They want to move into the mountains and raise their child in a natural way and natural environment. They want him to build huts, play with other kids, make his own toys, and plant food and medicine.
Grateful for all my teachers, both academic and non-academic. I have all the best teachers in the world right now! Especial love and joy from past week to Tara, Ah Ji, Fa Ge, Ah Fu Ge, Ah Ge, Kider, my taiji teachers, 85 year old dancer choreographer and anthropologist Liu-Feng-Xue, my dance teacher Wang, dance teacher Zeng, dance teacher Wu, ceramics teacher, Tofu, Marina... big love, inspiration, support, and... grateful to have found all these lovely people. Hoping to wave fear away and deepen connections with all colors of rainbow beauty and ugliness: and that balance makes it all the more beautiful.

Today's was more than a small blurb! Tomorrow, I'll write much less. :)

taiwan to china to thailand to taiwan

6 moons have rotated their way on by

i am riding a different bike now

my knees hurt more than ever i've experienced in my life

i am rotating my wrists more than ever in my life

i am taking classes again

i feel like a college student

i am a teacher again of small children

and a follower of old people thru the hills

always have been following these old ones thru the hills

i like the very old and the very young

these are the closest to truth, perhaps

the knowing wisdom of old age, borne of a lifetime of accumulated stories

the innocent beaming of childhood, borne of the freshness of previous lifetimes accumulating into now

i've wandered off from taiwan for half a year, and now back

everything feels the same

it is so easy to return to old rhythms, but now in new ways

i feel fresher, more grown?

and that which i wish to attract into my life

feels like it comes ever faster

life is so very very full

spent weekend in mountains with new friends

by pure chance meeting one beautiful person after another

i would follow you thru the hills any day, and for a long time too

but the question keeps arising

as i keep following one wise beautiful person after another into the hills

and we emerge back out again into the sunshine from the shaded forest

which is my path?

i keep following the path of another

sculpting my own winding path of another person's, then jumping onto another, then another

learning so much thru walking in others' footsteps,

but what footsteps mark my own path?

my grandma says that i jump around too much

some other elders applaud my jumping, saying that without dancing around, i may not recognize my own path

and gradually a general rhythm arises from the jumping and seemingly sporadic dancing

it is not so sporadic

there is rhythm in this

what gifts have china and thailand given me?

what gifts are taiwan giving me?

i have returned

it is rare for me to return to a place, to a people

i have planted seeds on my uncle's balcony

every morning, i brush my hair there, and feed it to the seeds, and watch them grow

this feels very fulfilling

in thailand, we planted everyday

we kept seeds and scraps of plants with roots attached and planted everything

i am doing a bit of the same on my uncle's small porch

a physical manifestation of thailand, a bit of this and that

i am practicing tai chi every morning

i am beginning a slow dive into martial arts and basic tai chi sword play

i want to learn everything!

the sword play music is in my head everyday, right now

a strong rhythmic drumbeat, and a voice wild and free, looping up and down vocals that send mad tingles up and down my spine

after a good tai chi practice, even during, i can literally feel myself rooting, rooting

the chi goes back into the earth and i experience it as a rooting that is oh so satisfying

and yet... question keeps arising

how long to stay, when to leave, where to next... need to plan this already

so i know. so i can tell my family and such

staying present while also being prepared for the future

in tai chi: stance of knees slightly bent.

i can feel this now, this feeling of strength and power

energy rising from earth into my thighs, up spine, into head, back into sky

aligned

knees aligned with feet both for feeling of rightness now, and for health in future

now, sitting and typing

spine straight, head like a string suspended from sky up, floating me up up, tailbone tucked in

sitting like this, feeling of energy flow, but also preparing for future: do not want to be hunchback old woman

staying present while also being prepared for the future

am now drying a gourd for my guitar

one of my new elders is amazing with music

hung out with her this weekend

she suggested i carry around The Stick (my unfinished guitar) and really learn to play it

bring it everywhere, she says

yesterday, ate sweet potato leaves

this morning, planted them into sweet soft soil

rain graced us yesterday in mountains, and now even more grace today

biking around like a wet turtle: happy, but a bit too wet for my taste

will go seek moon cakes, bamboo shoots, and mushrooms with rice and greens at my grandma's house soon

am laying out my schedule... and it begins to look like my college schedule: colorful, and completely packed

so different from thailand forest life, yet somehow satisfying

i wonder about this nature: constantly being so busy

my family too

mmm much to mull, digest, and just be with

love and gratitude aplenty!

answers

Grandma, tell me:
Why, why, oh, why?
Blue sky, green earth,
Huge world, small me?
My sweet darling,
Look in, hear heart.
Breathe deep, walk strong.
Blue sky, for you
All the world, yes.
The world is yours.
Green earth, for you.
All the love, yes.
Love, thanks, here, now.
You're the answer.
Yes, yes, oh, yes.

rain

You should be able to tell... yup, these are for small children. I hope they either make you smile... or make you want to write your own poetry. :P haha

---

Desert skies open.
Drip drop, rain falls down.
Dry earth's been waiting
For this moment, now.
Happy fish swim in.
Grinning frogs jump high.
Birds chorus wildly.
It's a rainy day!
Time to celebrate!
Hooray for the rain!
Hooray for the sun!
Hooray for the earth!
Hooray for this life!
Now, let's swim in rain!

flight

I'm standing on the edge.
I'm ready for this leap.
Preparing all my life,
Today I am ready.
My past forms my two wings,
My future gently waits.
The wind's strength will lift me,
Mama Earth's strength will guide.
I trust in this process.
I know I am okay.
I release my old me.
I step into the dark.
Time is now, moment's right.
Embracing the unknown,
Here I go, now I fly.

I am thanks

I am now writing some super short verse-type things for a school, for kids to learn English. I will post some that I like... they are really different than my usual writing style, I think. It is fun and difficult to write like this!

---

Touch the stones,
Smell the sea.
This huge world
Is much more
Than just me.
Sing a song,
Dance and play.
Climb a tree,
Wild and free.
I'm a bird.
I'm a stone.
I'm joy, bliss.
I'm beauty.
I am thanks.

happy Moon Festival!

lovelovevolvelove...!

zao an tai chi

tingle starts in hands and bottom of feet

activated by breath, as music crescendoes

we lift arms to cradle everything coming together perfectly

eyes half shut for these suns they shine so brightly

welcome to taipei

i am back in taiwan until early january! :)

Four forest days

... this year during my wilderness fast, I slept in a hammock under a
mosquito net under a tarp. it rained most of the time, thus the
hammock (lets the rain run under). I hung all my stuff up along my
hammock rope. First 2 days sabae sabae (relaxation) and good sleep,
and then final two days... hooooo, spine pain! Now, I still love
hammocks... but am super grateful to lie flat against Mama Earth's
body and sleep with a straight spine again. Thai tarps are not so
good. This forest smells and feels and everything amazing... but
aren't all forests amazing? :) I love the forest. My family name means
forest. Am honored to be part of all this in all ways, always. More
stories on this... but in person, or phone, skype. See you soon. Love
you!

Joy is Edible

photo from the final day of this year's Jiling-Wilderness-Fast (duan shi, bi guan) 2011
love and so much gratitude to all my friends, family, and people, animals, plants, minerals, and universe in my life!

back from the forest

internet is super slow right now and i have more stories coming for
you, my family (via email) but right now just upload onto this blog...
i am back for the forest. and i am well. more then well!!! radiant and
so happy to be here on this planet! and i will write more when the
internet is faster. :) love y'all!
jiling

tacomepai permaculture design course

here's my classmates with one of our teachers, sandot (next to me).
not pictured but making the photo is damien, my brother monkey and
sandot's co-teacher of this permaculture course. wooo! :)
here, we are in the rice paddy field, right before planting. THIS is
the most important thing in the world... our food! where does it come
from? the EARTH!
human+nature= paradise
yes!

wild passionflower

permaculture course ended today

i can't wait to make a home on a nice piece of land close to national forest/ wildlands and put all these great ideas into practice... grow food, herbs, edible forest garden, store water, build an eco efficient home...

am super inspired... and also, craving a more permanent home

passionflower... i have dreamed of this flower many times, and it is everywhere here with delicious wild fruits. it is love that grows on a vine

and then these people? the vibrant lady next to me is sandot's mother, and sandot's the man with the huge smile in the center of the photo (the genius behind my current farm). damien is my big brother monkey, on the far right. shen is another vegan, right above him.

this is home for now, but one day...

difficult to stay "present" when i can't help but wonder where, when, how i will make Home!

rainbow

hot all day

temperate to arid climate with a nice sun spread over a blue sky and clouds drifting in and out

face up close into pungent bucket after bucket of effective microorganisms for the compost

compost tea, compost buckets, worm farms, fruit trees galore

all this is old stuff that i never quite understood from my dad and here it comes again

permaculture

rising from the bucket to drop my shoes off and sprint to a new pond to test the waters depth

and stop running, awestruck at the sky

rainbow stretching from where rice paddies lie with freshly planted rice babies

all the way over to the other side of the farm where dam after dam holds rich waters rich soils

all clothes off, all pretense aside, the pond is dark and muddy and deliciously warm and cold in parts

fish nibbling my limbs, sometimes with sharp teeth

drums and singing over by the kitchen with fire and delicious thai food

bananas and coconut milk

this rainbow

i saw this same rainbow over orchard hill farm almost a year ago

almost a year already since i left america

i can say

i don't miss you but i love you and i know that you know the difference

but the truth of the matter is

well, i miss you

i miss you with your smiles, laughter, unconditional love, and understanding

i miss you with all the plants, people, and friends that i know so well

i miss you with all the comfort and sweetness that is present every single place

and in every single person and plant

all the comfort and sweetness present in every rainbow molecule dreambeat drumbeat of my spirit being whole present now flesh breath blood bone fat movement patience strength grace

when you enter the forest

you enter the belly of the mother

re-enter

this shared breath gift love presence

i acknowledge this pain

i breathe into this darkness

i embrace this light

and dance with shadow

finding the myriad rainbows amongst the patiently flowing pond waters curves

amongst the dancing flames transforming green bananas into dinner

tacomepai, thailand

am now on tacomepai farm right outside of pai, thailand

from a nothing land with bad soil 20 years ago

to now, a teeming edible forest garden with fruit trees, wild edible and medicinal foodie-heaven treasures hiding up, down, all around

and simple lovely beauty everywhere

and i don't intend to touch computer for a while again, while i am here :)

am currently living in a treehouse again

above a small stream

sound of reassuring mama river all night long nourishes deepest of dreams and cleansing sleep

this land is sacred and medicinal and i am grateful to be here

everyday is a gift and the most amazing people show up in my life

it is summer, there is fruit everywhere, frogs and river sing me to sleep, birds and sunshine bless me awake

love, gratitude, and big open heart

on goodbye

it's rare to be the one
getting said goodbye to
being on this side of the river
i know now why my grandma was crying
when she dropped me off at the bus station
when i left for china
for 3 months
i hope she's not sad
that i haven't returned yet
but once i return
perhaps after another 3 months
i will leave again
leaving her on the other side of the river again
where i am standing now
having waved my friend away
a motorbike into the distance
the sound fading away, the sight already gone
but the heart ties still there
how strong, the heart ties?

i don't like being on this side of the river
waving goodbye
and now i feel guilty for usually being the one on the other side of the river
jolly waving farewell
looking forward into the rising sun
whilst the moon sets on the back side of the river
where i stand now
still waving
pieces of my heart riding away with the motorcycle

grandma, mother, father, sister, friends who are family
i want to say "come join me on this side of the river"
and "let us never part"
and "why do i always say goodbye"

today i know
yet again
that i do not know

but there is a certain wind
and there is a certain earth
and the chinese word for peace
is the same word for
balance

(let us live the questions
let us not be afraid to walk into the fiery sun
be it rising or setting
and to grasp the tails of the comets
and ride them as far as they will take us
let us bravely stand at the edges of volcanoes
and stare deep into an endless abyss
great cavernous mysterious eyes that stare back
let us be
waves on this immense ocean
flowing steady wild rhythmic uncontrollable
gravitationally pulled to solid earth magnetism
and drawn by mystical moon off somewhere we can't quite always see)

china photos from jesse

master photographer jesse warren does it yet again with multiple flash extended exposure photography for jiling's last night in shenzhen, china... well, almost a month ago now. thanks shenzhen, china once again for 3 months of new friends, deep challenges, and infinite lessons that i will keep learning the rest of my life

(night picnic at lianhuashan park)

on chiang mai, thailand

i feel so very full right now. have been receiving many emails asking "how is thailand?" and such with much love in those words and your thoughts and i don't quite know what to say because it would be such a long email with so many words and much typing and typing is not so good for my wrists. i try to relax them off. i sleep with crystals. am staying with guy, muay, and faa. muay is my thai massage teacher. they are all beautiful amazing human beings and i am honored to be now part of this family also. really, makes my heart sing, and makes it sore with love, and joy, and the pain also of knowing one day soon enough leaving and not knowing when i return. this place reminds me of northampton, ma. and brattleboro, vt. and the feel of gila, nm. very community feel with healing light intentions and strong intentions and beautiful people gathered together somehow magic perfect (as always yes?) in this place, this time, these feelings/ energies.
the magic is shaking a lot up inside of me and it is wonderful and challenging and i look to august for my yearly (i guess, now it's yearly) Fast. will investigate mountain wilderness areas around thailand to find the perfect place for another uninterrupted four day fast. (feasting on air, water, mountains, sunshine, and pure spirit essence) the tissues hold the issues said lucy. and i can see how everything builds up and builds up to build the present now... this wouldn't be so rich, if this wasn't so challenging. i really have to pay attention to body mechanics, otherwise i can't fall asleep for painful wrists. body mechanics are right, and everything flowers like rivers and waterfalls and gentle streams bending through mountains. bodies like mountains each unique and beautiful in their own way. so far, only practiced on a handful of bodies/ people/ spirits... guy, muay, yui, faa, craig. fascinating to palpate skin and feel the electrical currents beneath skin, the bones, the muscles, and best of all, that which science has not named but age old thai tradition calls "sen lines." chinese, we call them meridians. i don't know all the other names for the body's energy lines, but all this is fascinating is fascinating and i feel so happy to literally touch this. and be touching others, helping with pain, and learning so much that it (quite literally) hurts. being careful of body mechanics, i bring new awareness into every single movement. thai massage is like contact improv dance. this new awareness permeates my every movement, how i shift weight with each step, how i pedal down the busy roads listening to and feeling the flexing and contracting of my muscles, what the relation between my foot and the pedal is and how the energy rises up my legs and that relation with my spine and then (somehow this is almost always most important for if not careful this always hurts the most) relation of wrist with handlebars and arms with spine and wrist also and wrist and hands and head and neck and wrist and wrist and wrist. i massage my own scar tissue during calm moments of non thinking, during busy moments of stress (i am wedged between a big stinky bus and a tuk tuk on a busy road... and i am supposed to be on the other side) biking thru the rain coming home at night. pure exhilaration. full moon dance night with the new additional couchsurfing family member of craig (feels so nice to say family. feel family. family family family) (taiwan family. usa family. world family). this love makes me happy. but this love also makes me sad and miss people. but i have family scattered all over the globe. most concentrated in taiwan and usa but... all over the globe. what a gift. what pain in the heart to feel such love and not always be able to physically touch (but there is energy and i KNOW the sen- jiling philosophy at least- extends all over as my breath flows into yours and into the trees and stones and all else) i felt this morning with the tree across from where i do morning stretching, i felt our breath exchange. i could feel tree's strength and age and enduring patience, grandiose beauty. ancient powerful beings, really. some really old big sacred bodhi trees with colorful sticks with prayer messages written on them supporting the old giants (being supported, rather?), and golden cloth tied around their bellies. some with all manner of rainbow cloths tied around and around. the wats/ temples here and magnificent. seems like there is one around every corner and all i can do is keep repeating "only good spirits please" and "meegwetch, namaste, kop khun kha, thank you thank you thank you" because i feel so deeply grateful to be here, and all the beauty and all the challenges feel so rich, and perfect. this journey feels really really right. and this feels like a good place to stop writing for now, and watch today's storm come slowly rolling in. love and gratitude to you, my pun pun, my friend!

suay thai

sawat dee kha! hello

bangkok thailand for four days

tommorow chiang mai train ride all day 

content

kap khun kha! thank you

suay suay suay= beautiful beautiful beautiful

Love in China

i started composing this list last night, as i reminsced over the long-short three months i've been here in southern china... i did not have time to finish or edit this list today (my last day here. wildly busy, and just wildly surreal as always). so here's an unfinished raw list of (and i hope you enjoy)

 

china moments i want to remember
 
the feeling of watching a line of little kids running into their mama's arms
dancing at night to the beat of at least ten different musics, hundreds of people moving as one
fireflies on a night hike up to the top of a hill, and seeing the big dipper again, reorienting to my planet, and north star
spotting the first few land-lubber fireflies hunkered in bushes near the river
helping kendal find her voice and shout loudly into the tunnel
doing the same but differently with frederik that long night walk night
free flow echo-free singing into the twilight magic on top of the hilll in our park
our students crying as they parted ways with the local students
long nights extending into mornings with kendal, talking about all the many colors of the wind, and life's rainbows and shadows
every single painful goodbye is a heartfelt love song
kitchen boy giving me the small fresh ginger buds he'd just carefully nipped off all the ginger, "bet you've never tried this like this before"
qizi's mama's breakfast morning "ba bao zhou" (eight treasures porridge) reminding me so strongly of my own mama
qizi's dad giving me coconut milk, travel stories, and always a huge smile filled with heart
connection with the yangshuo third generation herbalist, wang fa-yuan
connection with the shenzen chinese medicine doctor who gave me free massages, many stories, and treated kendal's cough with herbs
that night hanging out on the rock in the middle of the frog pond wondering about stars, constellations, meaning of life, and plausability of god with glenn, kendal, wouter, camille and watching the magic of fire on water
my first run-in with rebecca, glenn, wouter, and every single time trying to verbalize in improving chinese and deproving english something unverbalizeable
going to shanghai and realizing what a gift family really is
noticing the earth and sky in kendal's eyes
noticing the sun freckles in the greenish lake of frederik's eyes
watching sliena and jane (non-swimmers) swimming (first time) under the second waterfall
immersed skin to stone above the xin'an waterfall, watching clouds rush by
speaking with the three generations of calm earthy farmers on their lonely contented hilltop farm above the small village... and understanding where and how i want to be
hugging simon goodbye, and feeling his tears
first seeing dandelion, stellaria medea, artemesia, plantain, and all the many other old plant friends here also
walking downhill, feeling wind, knowing rain, inhaling green, and finding knowingness and rightness
yangshuo bar night, "talking" via notes with chao-ren/superman above the din of live music and many voices
campfire night with our xin'an students: connection over old songs, many stories, and never ever growing up
singing songs in chinese and english with our shenzhen beach students over the fire, to burnt bananas and flickering charcoal
placidly floating in the inner tube down the xin'an river with kendal and sliena, laughing, silently intaking, and dodging whitewater rapids
old man above the farm looking into my eyes, "i am glad you see this"
leading yoga on the beach with cristina, marina, kendal and feeling powerfully rooted to both earth and sky
deep dreams fast asleep under the artemesia at my xin'an village sit-spot
at my xin'an sit spot: grasshopper landing on my hand. butterfly landing on my head
night hiking through bamboo forest: firefly landing on my hands on my head, illuminating my world
folk dancing with frederik in the park to amelie music echoing off tall building walls
free form dancing on the rooftop
giving thanks at dawn and dusk on the roof above our indier office
the little purple-back leaf plant popping out through the small crack in the roof
headstands in the sandy beach with head and butt pointed towards oncoming waves
trying to teach jane how to swim in the ocean
fingers and eyes and eyes and fingers pointing games with dingo
qq from first floor to second floor with kendal
rubbing xiao o's head for good luck
whirlwind three days roadtrip to old home in zhao qing with wayne and family
touching the ancient stone buddhas in hangzhou
seeing all my green plant friends (aka weeds) growing amidst ancient ruins
finding the tibetan art exhibit
getting "lost"... then finding my way again
learning to find what i need in this huge city
eating one sweet bao zi after another, and chive jiao zi also
making green bean soup
thunder and lightning boom banging and making all the car alarms go off
street food
my one week fast
dalun printmaking village and dafun oil painting village
skyping with mama, my sister, uncle, bill, etc
connections with alex amies and daniel here in china (old buddies)
pancake party on santi's roof and feeling wind and watching the city wilderness of blinking land stars with cheeks full of nutella
dimsum with wayne's family in guangzhou
hospitality of villagers and family

yes

"so you're not a local?" he asks

i smile

"where are you from?"

today, i say i come from taiwan

"do you think taiwan is better, or china?"

i say both have their highs and lows, like any other place on earth

"but doesn't taiwan have more money?"

i laugh. money doesn't bring happiness right?

we look out over the landscape of rows of crops lined into the rows of trash, wedged among the broken buildings with new buildings under construction and skyscrapers in the background, smoke rising from two piles of trash and the dull roar of traffic in the distance

"but life is harder with less money"

but it doesn't matter where you go in the world. it's all the same. everywhere, people experience immense joy and deep contentment. everywhere, people experience immense sadness and deep pain. everywhere, we go through life one day after the next, and we all try our best to live it to its fullest potential.

he looks me in the eyes. his eyes are bright. i like the crinkled corners, bearing years of laughter and tears, and endess stories, "you are so young. i am glad you see this."

my heart rises over the crops, roof, and even airplane.

we understand each other.

letter to students

i'm having trouble composing what feels like a suitable "china-synopsis" letter to share with you all, regarding my journey here in china over the past three months... this morning, sitting on the train and sharing old music with students, watching the landscape roll by so quickly, a letter came... for my students. it sums up a few of my feelings regarding being here. maybe another letter will come before i leave china... and maybe not. i hope you enjoy this one :) (note: i wrote this for my students)

- jiling

---
barbie, maria, patrick, seon woo, dae yeong, jose, jamie, edwin, akane, tony, sok hwan, seonjin, carly, nakyung, emily, jiho, jisu, dickson, anthony, will...

21 students. i know. we keep counting and recounting to make sure you're all still here. 21 individuals. 21 teenagers around ages 16-17 in grade 11, taking a really heavy courseload of difficult classes, and spending one precious week with us and a school, a village--- an experience in a small village in the relative backwaters of china--- changing lives, moving hearts, and re(creating) your own young lives.

who ARE you? you'll ask this question an infinite number of times throughout your life--- you'll ask yourself, your family, friends, strangers. you've experienced this question as hordes of small children flock to touch your shoulders, shake your hands, give you a hug, as for your autograph. how do you answer to "who ARE you?" what do you see when you look into your own eyes in the mirror? when you look into the eyes of the "other"--- loved ones, strangers--- who do you see in there? and, who is reflected back?

kayaking is and was not just kayaking. going blindfolded through the jungle, you're not just trying to "see" with your feet, and illuminate your sense of hearing. the stones you trip over, the waves that seek to wash over you--- how do you get over them? because, you have done this. you know how to do this. you have an irrepressible strength that carries you through all your young (highly brave, highly inspiring) travels. you carry a bright pearl inside of you that no dust of this world will ever cover up, because you can see it. you KNOW it is there. even when you think you forget, well no--- it's still there. it's always been there.

who ARE you? (more amazing and full of Heart than even you could ever imagine).

xing'an, this trip, is only a small chapter of a long story. what is next? well ofcourse twelfth grade, and then for most (all?) of you, college. and then...?

you've traveled. you're lucky to know the triumphs and challenges of many realities of this life: saying goodbye (metaphorical deaths) to loved ones, beloved places, and the comfortable securities of routines, familiar faces and places, etc--- and then the bittersweet (oftentimes brief) hellos again. you know different cultures: different traditions, different ways of looking at the world, different languages--- but (somehow) basically we're all the same. you know more than i could ever (possibly) even imagine because the complexities of our minds and individual experiences wrap together into beautiful dances, each time unique and utterly indescribable... all this language only an attempt at describing the indescribable (how am i doing?)

i'll try to be more literal--- i've loved every moment with you "kids." (in some ways, already more adult than i will ever be). i have renewed hope for our future, and trust in our youth (that's you! our youth. our future... wow, yeah?) i see beautiful visions for the future with all your bright eyes, bright faces, and bright optimism in your young lives.

"BE the CHANGE you wish to see in this world," said gandhi.

you're so much fun, so full of life and light, and more--- i'm grateful for this week with you young world-changers, beauty-bringers, and laughter-sharers. i'm grateful to you for so bravely walking your strengths into this world... and encourage you to continue looking as deeply inwards as you look outwards. so much beauty in every direction...

thank you

兴安- more images

the family- i traveled with the mama (left) and papa (right) for a weekend to visit their old home (老家) in conghua (从化）
they grew up in the countryside, knowing each other as kids, then later moved out into the city of shenzhen (深圳） for a better life... know these people thru taiwan friend alder :) big gratitude. not pictured, but pictured at some other time: their kids. amazed at the tight knit family community, and how when they go back home to their old town, they just jump right back into the village life: the mama's family processes medicinal herbs as a family business; the papa's family farms

the rooftops- eye over xin'an (兴安). this was my view from my window in xin'an. these old chinese wooden buildings can last for such a long time. they remind me of old barns in new england. (bill, is your barn over 100 years old?) a melding of old and new: construction everywhere, all over china. this old town is getting torn down and rebuilt in places to create a new tourist industry here. most of the population are farmers and construction workers. bamboo harvesting and cultivation is huge here. chopstick and other bamboo manufacturing taking place night and day. landscape here like in connecticut woods... many people fit into the landscape, but a great majestic landscape also. rivers everywhere. wetness. trees and so much life in the forest. jungle, really. humans have greatly altered this landscape. most of the hills covered with cultivated bamboo trees

the kids- an example of my (teenage) students' interactions with the local (elementary school) students... the local students thought the world of our students. treated them like heroes. asked for our autographs every moment they could. give one autograph, and we immediately get mobbed by children wanting more autographs. we play games, paint a mural on their wall, teach some english, give them lots of time and attention... and the kids connect so deeply with these students within the small space of three mornings... that by the time we leave the school at the end of our journey, there is not a dry eye among our students or staff. our students are reluctant to leave the school, and the local kids hang onto our students. everyone is crying tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of connection and farewell, tears of being deeply moved by something indescribable... profound moment. so grateful to these children. always so grateful to them. moments like this make every challenge feel worthwhile

the forest- the girl- this was one of my favorite places to come sit and be in xin'an. i didn't make a photo of my absolute favorite place, which was where all the previous photos of the plants came from (except for the mossy sorrel photo). but here, i love the bamboo. i loved their knocking sounds when wind strongly blows them together. i love the gentle sounds of the soft yet tough leaves as wind moves through the forest. you can hear when wind enters forest, and exactly where she enters from. love looking up and watching the various small birds and identifying which beautiful sound came from which beautiful bird. i love the dragonflies and butterflies winging about. and then at night... oh, the fireflies!!! (magic in its most primal form)

兴安- look down

yesterday, said goodbye to most of my coworkers as we left them in guilin
today, said goodbye to the rest of my coworkers
today, goodbye to a home of two weeks in xin'an, beautiful china countryside enveloped by mountains
goodbye to villagers i have come to know by their smiles and kindness
and ciau ciau bella to my talented brave teenage students of a week
they, a tearful farewell yesterday to the local elementary school students
tomorrow, i bid kendal farewell
tomorrow, adieu to my home base of three months here in shenzhen
tonight, a farewell to a circle of strangers-turned-friends united by me and kendal

why do we fall in love
and then say goodbye
so painfully?

love of varying degrees yes
but love nonetheless

4:30 am

i hear the first bird of the dawn chorus

another bird answers

tentatively

and then with excitement

a third bird joins in

what

a

sky

the fullening moon had brightened

the entire night sky

and now

all this birdsong

sends night dispelling quivers of

springtime flowers

and more birdsongs on the wind

through my barred window

breaking down the bars

grassroots style

i can smell the rain

how can one sleep

when one's bags are completely packed

and so much awaits on the horizon

as all the birds

begin

to sing alive the sun?

cucumbers

just a normal day on the job... :)

we're heading to xin'an (above guilin) for the next two weeks
then back to shenzhen for 5 days
then june 1= wings sprout me to thailand, and kendal back to usa

big M

me and kendal have been in china for 3 months

sprout

- soak the beans in a glass jar for 2-3 days... until they start to sprout and are chewy and soft. during this process, change water every morning and night.
- find a basket. lay down a soft porous cloth like linen or cotton (cheesecloth is great). i used a bandanna
- pour your beans into basket!
- every morning and night, give beans a bath. otherwise, let them sit there all day in a room temperature out-of-sun place. covered with another cloth that you rubber band or rope to the basket, so that it doesn't fly away, and no curious bugs get in
- wait and watch... it will take about a week. you can munch them all along the way
- yum!!!

reality

reality as we know it is but a reflection of reality