wild passionflower

permaculture course ended today
i can't wait to make a home on a nice piece of land close to national forest/ wildlands and put all these great ideas into practice... grow food, herbs, edible forest garden, store water, build an eco efficient home...
am super inspired... and also, craving a more permanent home
passionflower... i have dreamed of this flower many times, and it is everywhere here with delicious wild fruits. it is love that grows on a vine
and then these people? the vibrant lady next to me is sandot's mother, and sandot's the man with the huge smile in the center of the photo (the genius behind my current farm). damien is my big brother monkey, on the far right. shen is another vegan, right above him.
this is home for now, but one day...
difficult to stay "present" when i can't help but wonder where, when, how i will make Home!



hot all day
temperate to arid climate with a nice sun spread over a blue sky and clouds drifting in and out
face up close into pungent bucket after bucket of effective microorganisms for the compost
compost tea, compost buckets, worm farms, fruit trees galore
all this is old stuff that i never quite understood from my dad and here it comes again
rising from the bucket to drop my shoes off and sprint to a new pond to test the waters depth
and stop running, awestruck at the sky
rainbow stretching from where rice paddies lie with freshly planted rice babies
all the way over to the other side of the farm where dam after dam holds rich waters rich soils
all clothes off, all pretense aside, the pond is dark and muddy and deliciously warm and cold in parts
fish nibbling my limbs, sometimes with sharp teeth
drums and singing over by the kitchen with fire and delicious thai food
bananas and coconut milk
this rainbow
i saw this same rainbow over orchard hill farm almost a year ago
almost a year already since i left america
i can say
i don't miss you but i love you and i know that you know the difference
but the truth of the matter is
well, i miss you
i miss you with your smiles, laughter, unconditional love, and understanding
i miss you with all the plants, people, and friends that i know so well
i miss you with all the comfort and sweetness that is present every single place
and in every single person and plant
all the comfort and sweetness present in every rainbow molecule dreambeat drumbeat of my spirit being whole present now flesh breath blood bone fat movement patience strength grace
when you enter the forest
you enter the belly of the mother
this shared breath gift love presence
i acknowledge this pain
i breathe into this darkness
i embrace this light
and dance with shadow
finding the myriad rainbows amongst the patiently flowing pond waters curves
amongst the dancing flames transforming green bananas into dinner


tacomepai, thailand

am now on tacomepai farm right outside of pai, thailand
from a nothing land with bad soil 20 years ago
to now, a teeming edible forest garden with fruit trees, wild edible and medicinal foodie-heaven treasures hiding up, down, all around
and simple lovely beauty everywhere
and i don't intend to touch computer for a while again, while i am here :)
am currently living in a treehouse again
above a small stream
sound of reassuring mama river all night long nourishes deepest of dreams and cleansing sleep
this land is sacred and medicinal and i am grateful to be here
everyday is a gift and the most amazing people show up in my life
it is summer, there is fruit everywhere, frogs and river sing me to sleep, birds and sunshine bless me awake
love, gratitude, and big open heart