chinese new year and classes and life as i currently know it finish at the end of january 
i am soooo on the move... somewhere
wanna break the box
wanna break the box
wanna break the box that i've made for myself 
but i don't know how to break it 
these patterns are soooo old 
how to break these boxes 
and be completely new, fresh, 


you only live once



not as it seems

陶藝- tw ceramics- 1

batch number 1 of jiling's taiwan ceramics has been made, glazed, and fired! 


sprouts and spices

there's something magical about sprouting beans and then eating them (jiling sprouts, mama arranges)
and it's really super lovely having my own spice collection (no matter how small) for the first time in my life

好喜愛發豆芽, 與吃自己發的新鮮豆芽!
也好開心有自己的香料! 這是一輩子來的第一次有自己的香料!(但是離開美國以前, 都採自己的藥草。。。 想念那些日子!又要開始咯!)

    jiling . 林基玲
    taiwan: 0912.911.946
    usa: 626.344.9140
    skype: Lin.JiLing
. love . gratitude . presence .


today's expedition!- taiwan national palace museum with mama and nainai grannie


pain- 疼痛

better out than in
issues in the tissues 
sorrow? prevalent. everyone. 
don't ask me why
this is part of life 

阿媽生日- matriarch grandma ama's birthday... almost 80!

楊家團圓!!! :)

my mama's side of the family 


flight happens

飛, 吧!

body language

how do i take a simple movement and make it authentically my own, infuse it with meaning and emotion. a simple step can be infused with love, hatred, sadness... anything. teacher is giving us all the same choreography to infuse with the meaning of four lines from a poem of our choice. how do i fuse my body with the music so that there is no separation between music and jiling. my dance is the music, is my body. how do i establish rapport with each new partner i dance with. we all know the same choreography but express it in different ways. how do i remain patient with both myself and others as our expressions push against each other. how do i be less self critical in front of the mirror, and authentically say a loving "thank you" to my body as we pat ourselves down at the end of each class. teacher says that pain is good. he says is a certain movement gives us pain, then keep on doing that movement until the pain leaves. he says that if there is pain, then it means we need to keep on doing it. there is an obvious feeling between good pain and bad pain, and i feel like i can push myself more. i don't yet know my body's limits, but i do know that i am growing marshmallow soft here in the big city, and i don't like it. i feel most alive when i am getting lost in the mountains, clambering up big rocks, sloshing about barefoot and sticky in mud, following all the mnyriad patterns and twists of rivers and waterfalls, and carefully poking my way through bamboo forests filled with spikes and snakes. how do i place this passion and life-force into my body expression? am choreographing a five minute dance piece that i want to be fully infused with jiling life energy, desert energy, forest energy, and a story that everyone can identify with.


滿月快樂!- happy full moon!

already my third full moon back in taiwan! :)
will be here at least until lunar new year (end of january)
wow, time flies!

已經待在台灣2.5月了。。。 時間過得太快啦!
最少待到新年 :)



let go 
i own nothing 
i am nothing 
let it all go 
all i need is here 
though it is not mine 
this or that to speak, sing, dance, be 
i CHOOSE which way to walk, run, fly, jump
i fall, scream, cry, break my heart, break hearts
i climb up, fall down, climb again, fall again, and then choose 
move the stone, climb over the stone, find another path
i let go
i own nothing 
i am nothing
i choose

this point of connection 
my body touching yours 
give me your weight as i give you mine 
balance and counterbalance and weight sharing 
i let go 
you hold on 
my foot lifts 
yours remains grounded
swing me in a pendulum 
my weight is yours
this body is ours 
gravity, a blessed friend 
this point of connection 
our eyes linked as you pivot around my center of gravity 
wrists strongly interlinked 
i can feel your heart beating through your fingers 

i commit to connection 
but feel like there is not even time to connect with myself 
we are interwoven links of community 
every person i pass by is... a person 
utterly human 
with breath, heartbeat, thoughts, emotions 
and a fluttering something which brings light to eyes and makes each connection colorful, unique, amazing, beautiful
we call it "shen" in chinese 

softly touch me, for i am made of delicate butterfly winds and wings
do not touch me, for i am made of dragon fire and mountain avalanches 
i can destroy you 
i can lift you up 
i can 
i choose
i am 

every single raindrop unique 
every moment different and never to be repeated again 
each breath arising and passing, arising and passing 

all i can think about and feel is mountains, forests, desert, human body, universe
battling with societal and familial expectations 
different colors and pieces of jiling screaming and ripping against each other
pulling and pushing in all directions 
thousands of small atoms and cells birthing and dying, birthing and dying
why can't i let go of this tension in my left hip? 

let go 
let go 
let go 


home- 回家啦

my grandparents boated over from mainland china when they were young 
around my age, my own parents left home on planes for america 
six years ago, i graduated from college, aimed my compass at "naked life," and left our california home to find home in eco-communities and wilderness
one year ago, i left america for taiwan on a one-way ticket 
tonight, my own mama boards a plane to taiwan 
what a long journey home, from home 
hui jia la... go home la...
welcome home in every moment 
(but sometimes i feel completely homeless)


needling rain - 雨鬱悶

rain. feel sad, romantic, disconnected, distant. desire to connect, run away, rest, stay put. desire to run away into forest or desert and never return to city stink ever ever ever again. desire to walk and just keep on walking, never stopping. desire to finally find a home and stop all this walking wandering nonsense. desire to clear out, get stupid, get normal and stupid and get job and get normal and stupid and typical and comfortable and stupid. but comfortable. desire to rest but also feel restless. feel like never enough sleep. feel like never enough hours in the day to do, learn, share all i want. desire to hoard information, let it grow and grow, spew it back out larger with gift of my own understanding. rain. desire to stick acupuncture needle into the power spot of the rain flow, and make it all burst out. let the energy flow through, and keep coming and keep coming and just let it all flow out. and then, give me back my blue. desire to run away from winter in constant following of my favorite beautiful transition seasons of autumn and spring (i prefer autumn). desire to hide from people. feeling of never able to ask right questions or connect deeply enough. how to sink needle in right direction in right energy point to access the deepest spots and make energy flow most clearly through all points of connection: which includes all points? feeling of frustration and can never learn or understand either fast enough or enough, and not deeply enough to teach it back. desire to communicate clearly. my chinese slowly improving, my english slowly deteriorating. desire to master everything. anger and frustration at being young but not really, anymore. anger at time marching on and on, endless energy stream moving all of us towards eventual waterfall of death with uncertainty of what lies underneath waterfall, and how strong the flow. rain. i want to poke a needle through this rain. i want to hike into mountains and never come back out.