saint johnswort

today was a saint johnswort day!
hypericum perforatum 
"perforatum" for the small dots that light filter thru on the leaves
the flowers smell like heaven and will help further repair the ripped-up side of my face (from the Fall)
how does such a little yellow flower work such strong magic? 
i am in love!!

this is summer: june and july plans

if anyone's interested...

my itinerary for the next couple weeks:
this weekend= "ancient and innovative foundations training" with luz elena morey in brattleboro, vt
next week (last week of june)= either camp in woodbridge, ct with justin or visiting friends near northampton, ma
1rst week july= "gaia nature arts camp" for 5-7 yr olds with luz elena morey in brattleboro, vt
that weekend= maybe red tent in hartford, ct; or camping on keith's farm near northampton, ma
2nd week july= housesitting/exploring near brattleboro, vt
3rd week july= "gaia nature arts camp" for 8-12 yr olds with luz elena morey in brattleboro, vt
final week of july= still open

and then aug is mostly open, until aug 20 is women's herbal conference... and i think i will hitch around maine for a bit and explore some mountains i haven't touched yet, check out a high point, dip in the ocean for a few days, etc (mount desert island...!)

pow wow!

the order and preservation of indigenous cultures 
a gathering of tribes, really
disconnected yet (re)connected

the rhythm of the heartbeat drum just sets my heart beating faster
and then slower again
as we attune to the drum 
and attune to each other 
we begin to notice 
our voices coming from a shared breath
of the same quality of air and breathing 
into the nose, down into the belly, out thru the mouth
to be shared some more 
with the trees and fields surrounding
and the eagle soaring above 
riding on that same air current 
of precious breath
gift friend air wind 
take us as we soar 
on air currents of drum song

old songs, new songs, so many songs!
i recorded most
but it will take quite a while for me to really remember them 
for now, three are stuck in my head
seems like every other moment though
i remember another song
and find myself humming yet another pow wow tune
as i toodle around the woods and observe mosses growing
(that same beat thrums in you too huh?) 

many of the songs don't have a literal meaning 
but the feeling that the song evokes
that is what is important 
that is what is intentional
not the words
the words come secondary to the feelings 

and then at night we women gathered around 
the red clover womens' drum 
for me, it doesn't quite matter who i'm drumming with
so long as we get attuned
and the magic happens 
but there's just something about all us women gathered together
with a drum without a drum 
but ooh that night yes with a drum 
and drumming and singing and laughing and sharing
shining eyes reflecting the stars
with shared hands beating the sacred ancient drum 
something magic
is still here 
and reawakening 



to hitch or not to hitch?
that is the question
in a state of too many cars and not enough real people
i have many questions



my family name is lin
which means forest
my given chinese name
my "real name" is 
ji ling
ji is from an old family poem
each generation gets the next
word in the poem 
ji also means basic, foundational,
ling is the sound of bells
ethereal and abstract
ji ling is like grounded ether
sky and earth melded into one
ji ling also means spritely, flexible, nimble
like a fairy
lin ji ling
forest sprite

i am now going by my chinese name
ji ling 
(that's me... as well as a compendium of joyce, jaz, crow... and all the other names along the way. but now, back to ji-ling. hello, again)


i just saw all seven of the chickens sprinting past the kitchen
with a raccoon in hot pursuit
he wasn't afraid to run into the bushes 
and watch me with big bandit eyes


chalk art 2

chalk art


dream: lotuses

always remember that wherever you go, there will be lotus blossoms in your footsteps... so that you will never be lost


dance weekend

whirlwind weekend 
friday up to earthdance 
(hello, keith and lani, and amazing new farmers shauna and howell!) 
beautiful land, shining faces
hello massachusetts 
and goodbye again on saturday 
but first 
a magical mystical nature walk thru the rain 
inspiration to live fully, even to the city dwellers
thanks justin 
silence and loudness
can you hear the birds as they speak to each other thru the mists?
we are the birds speaking to each other thru the mists too 
and then kalyan's new farm 
not yet named
not yet planted
but all in progress
and oh so beautiful and amazing and utterly
so full of love and magic and 
filled with joy and hope
off to vermont!
where cars have congregated 
with people inside
at camp neringa 
for a weekend powwow
us, for a few hours 
of hello lovely mira and efan and other
beautiful old friends and acquiantances that i don't remember
but have still touched my life!
bluegrass music never fails
to make me swing
in the morning bright and early
grey rather
it's been grey all throughout 
new england is beginning to feel like a 
big grey temple tent
with green trees like greenish clouds
hanging above my head
above the grey
that envelopes all 
zooming bak down
freeways and traffic
as ingwe tells stories of leopards in jungles, on cd
and we trade raunchy teenage jokes
that bring us back to summers past
and i sleep with cold wet muddy feet plastered against
the breathing window
(or are my feet breathing)
feeling the hartbeat pulsation sensation 
in my little pinky toe 
soaring to 
back down back down 
to connect i cut
for new england primitive skills gathering
where me and justin first met
last summer 
and i haven't seen many of these people for a full year
and i realize just how much changes
and how much does not
and what?! i am still here in connect i cut
and am not yet cut
but not quite connected either
but am more and more realizing that
yet quite


rain rain

when i close my eyes, i see
small mushroom clouds of dust poofing 
as raindrop fairies alight
in the desert
the ground just keeps sopping it up 
until one day the sponge has had enough
and all the moss just erupts in little explosions
loud enough for the fairies to start
jigging in joy



hell-realm of normalcy 

schedules and cars that ride faster than the wind
barely even time to cook a good dinner

maybe this is just time to rest 
and recuperate after years of a different kind of running 
a kind of flying
running, flying, leaping, soaring with the wind
instead of in the opposite direction 
at full speed

a different kind of wind, a new sort of slow
a slow found in in-between moments of whooshing breath
gasping for air
air that had been forgotten 
in the rushing madness

what now do i choose for myself
i've dipped toes, then jumped full-on into both worlds
feels like i'm spiralling back and forth
and when i make comparisons
i see it's not such a big decision after all 
the spiral keeps turning, regardless 
but then, it's also a huge decision
shall i turn towards the sun, slowly, like a dandelion 
or shall i turn downwards yet up 
being stretched tightly into a middle place of balance
my guts stretched out tight to be poked with sticks
and push pulled into leather 
a tight unforgiving leather
that does not give in to the sly kisses of the wind
for it can no longer feel
it is stretched too tight

i feel like a tired wind caught between the currents of the tides
in a confusing whirlpool of motion
a black hole of dark unknown
heavy rock tied to my ankles 
pulling so hard that they bleed they bleed they bleed
i am bleeding to death
for my heart has been ripped to pieces 
devoured by so many little cords of blind hunger
that stretch leather of what was once a heart
until there is no more blood to bleed 
it is caked and hard
and eventually
back to dust 

i wonder if sometimes late at night
the dust sits up and wonders
where did i come from 



a duck got hurt last night
saw a mama and two baby raccoons in a tree, today
one life for three others? 

we see at least 3 deer and a squirrel dead on the side of the road every time we drive somewhere 
there's many more we don't see, i'm sure 
a handful of roadkill for a couple hundred cars and a society that moves too quickly? 

my stomach hurts when i think about the roadkill and stinky cars
it hurts also when i walk into a grocery store with its lights and too much stuff
our society of comfort and over-consumption

sometimes i wish i wasn't born american 
and yet, i also understand
(not quite) 


more spring!

i saw the first mullein blossoms of the season (bright yellow gorgeous flowers on a tall green stalk with the fuzziest most fantastic leaves)
and the first milkweed blossoms of the season! (beautifully intricate blossoms that are mostly white, but so much more... and smell like pure bliss. between the roses and the milkweeds, I am in heaven)

photos soon enough...



my week has been, thus far: 
lambsquarters day with brenda
bluegrass fest night, and recording songs with kari
hike to waterfall, and see coyote and snake
firefly and turtle and mosses with justin
ocean, roses, and lucy 
river walking with rocks, rain, thunder, and nettles
more roses



pink and white rosas
sing angels sounds 
and gently crowd each other to 
the locked doors of my heart
and blow fresh air into dusty chambers
and paint everything
an exhilaratingly reddish hue of ahhh