i feel so very full right now. have been receiving many emails asking "how is thailand?" and such with much love in those words and your thoughts and i don't quite know what to say because it would be such a long email with so many words and much typing and typing is not so good for my wrists. i try to relax them off. i sleep with crystals. am staying with guy, muay, and faa. muay is my thai massage teacher. they are all beautiful amazing human beings and i am honored to be now part of this family also. really, makes my heart sing, and makes it sore with love, and joy, and the pain also of knowing one day soon enough leaving and not knowing when i return. this place reminds me of northampton, ma. and brattleboro, vt. and the feel of gila, nm. very community feel with healing light intentions and strong intentions and beautiful people gathered together somehow magic perfect (as always yes?) in this place, this time, these feelings/ energies.
the magic is shaking a lot up inside of me and it is wonderful and challenging and i look to august for my yearly (i guess, now it's yearly) Fast. will investigate mountain wilderness areas around thailand to find the perfect place for another uninterrupted four day fast. (feasting on air, water, mountains, sunshine, and pure spirit essence) the tissues hold the issues said lucy. and i can see how everything builds up and builds up to build the present now... this wouldn't be so rich, if this wasn't so challenging. i really have to pay attention to body mechanics, otherwise i can't fall asleep for painful wrists. body mechanics are right, and everything flowers like rivers and waterfalls and gentle streams bending through mountains. bodies like mountains each unique and beautiful in their own way. so far, only practiced on a handful of bodies/ people/ spirits... guy, muay, yui, faa, craig. fascinating to palpate skin and feel the electrical currents beneath skin, the bones, the muscles, and best of all, that which science has not named but age old thai tradition calls "sen lines." chinese, we call them meridians. i don't know all the other names for the body's energy lines, but all this is fascinating is fascinating and i feel so happy to literally touch this. and be touching others, helping with pain, and learning so much that it (quite literally) hurts. being careful of body mechanics, i bring new awareness into every single movement. thai massage is like contact improv dance. this new awareness permeates my every movement, how i shift weight with each step, how i pedal down the busy roads listening to and feeling the flexing and contracting of my muscles, what the relation between my foot and the pedal is and how the energy rises up my legs and that relation with my spine and then (somehow this is almost always most important for if not careful this always hurts the most) relation of wrist with handlebars and arms with spine and wrist also and wrist and hands and head and neck and wrist and wrist and wrist. i massage my own scar tissue during calm moments of non thinking, during busy moments of stress (i am wedged between a big stinky bus and a tuk tuk on a busy road... and i am supposed to be on the other side) biking thru the rain coming home at night. pure exhilaration. full moon dance night with the new additional couchsurfing family member of craig (feels so nice to say family. feel family. family family family) (taiwan family. usa family. world family). this love makes me happy. but this love also makes me sad and miss people. but i have family scattered all over the globe. most concentrated in taiwan and usa but... all over the globe. what a gift. what pain in the heart to feel such love and not always be able to physically touch (but there is energy and i KNOW the sen- jiling philosophy at least- extends all over as my breath flows into yours and into the trees and stones and all else) i felt this morning with the tree across from where i do morning stretching, i felt our breath exchange. i could feel tree's strength and age and enduring patience, grandiose beauty. ancient powerful beings, really. some really old big sacred bodhi trees with colorful sticks with prayer messages written on them supporting the old giants (being supported, rather?), and golden cloth tied around their bellies. some with all manner of rainbow cloths tied around and around. the wats/ temples here and magnificent. seems like there is one around every corner and all i can do is keep repeating "only good spirits please" and "meegwetch, namaste, kop khun kha, thank you thank you thank you" because i feel so deeply grateful to be here, and all the beauty and all the challenges feel so rich, and perfect. this journey feels really really right. and this feels like a good place to stop writing for now, and watch today's storm come slowly rolling in. love and gratitude to you, my pun pun, my friend!
