in retrospect

I filled up my computer with photos, music, and more from constant travels. So, today I am finally cleaning out my computer: storing old stuff into my external hard-drive (I will need to buy a new one soon to back this one up, just in case). I looked through some old photos. (this hard-drive has my photos all the way from 2008, and even my photojournalist portfolio from 2006!), and I feel amazed that I am still alive in some ways. I have been through all kinds of crazy adventures, learned so many things, met so many people. Really, it's beyond words. Looking through these photos makes me wish I could look through the mental archives of my elders. I would love to look thru the memories of my grandparents, my parents, even my sister (she has traveled almost as much as I have, just in a completely different style). I would love to look through the mental archives of my teacher 7song, and all my elders: Tamarack, Lety, Bill, Lucy... Where have you been? WHO have you been? What events in your life sculpted you into who you are, today? What beauty, what pain? Share with me your stories of greatest joy, greatest humor. And then, all the mundane normalcy in between. All the days that blend together. Tell me about those too. 

I ate dinner tonight sitting on my doorstep overlooking the forest, crows cawing overhead (a "murder" of crows!), and I cawed back to them, laughing as they flew back to circle over my head, over my cabin, over the trees, a murder of crows, a bundle of mysteries, about as mysterious, sacred, and beautiful as anything I could ever imagine flying through the lives of all the people I love, and all the strangers and acquaintances I meet, all the plants and stones and trees too... There's an old tree next to where the farmer's market takes place every Saturday. I asked my neighbor Wade how old he thought the tree was. "Well," he replied, "probably 300 years old or so..." I imagine what this forest looked like 300 years ago, before white colonists came in, with Native Americans running through the landscape, old growth forests, no farmer's market, no cars, no computers... I imagine lush forests teeming with animals and diverse plant life...

I delight in the sound of the crows in the nearby trees, the wind blowing through the leaves. My eyes widen into owl eye vision, taking in all the forest, soft green young leaves blowing gently on the trees, dead brown leaves softly trembling on the ground from the wind whistling through my grove. I named my forest that I am living in (Noah's land)- I named this forest "Ling Lin," (靈林) which translates as "Spirit Forest." After a full day of work and over a week of daily work, I start to zone out on the fluttering green and brown leaves, until a sharp crow call brings me back into the present moment. I think of all the moments fleeting and flying, how quickly time flies by, how the days seem to blur together... 

One day, I will look back on photos from this spring to summer time in my cold little sweet and sacred cabin with all the frog songs, owl hoots, coyote scat, and crow calls, and I will miss it. I will think back to my time with Nishaan and 7song and all the other students, clients, and local friends turned into family, and I will smile, and I will reminesce, and I will have so many stories for all my future students of all ages and friends of all backgrounds, but no words or photos or videos can ever fully recapture the preciousness of this very really present moment: back to sitting in the woods alone yet surrounded by and woven completely into Life. 

Precious Life. I hope to live it so fully, and learn so much, and be filled to the brim with good Medicine to share, and share, and share--- and receive again, in full, and share and be filled, and share and be filled... 

The tadpoles grow larger everyday. I watch them swimming around during class break, admiring the swish of their tails, the roundness of their bellies. I wonder what they eat. 

The dandelions have already gone to seed. I like to blow their fluff around and make wishes that I trust will come true, as much as I am willing to work hard to make them happen. 

The garlic mustards are still in flower, and in seed, and young garlic mustards have already sprung up around the first garlic mustard plants of spring, now entering into summer already! Soon, they will take over the whole garden, if I don't eat them all, first! 

Today, I watched an orange newt come lazily crawling out from under the dry soil of my unwatered garden bed. He/she sauntered over to another hole in the earth, and then eased him/herself back into the Earth again. I wonder where he/she lives. 

The moon is getting fuller again. I enjoy watching her through the trees every night. My window is perfectly positioned to catch her glow as I fall asleep at night. 

In the mornings, I revel when I see the glow of the sun, and jump out of bed, twisting and dancing. When it is cold and my breath blows white frost into the air, I curl deeper into my pile of three sleeping bags, making loud "ahhh's" into the soft echos of my little hut, delighted to be sleeping alone again, yet also missing the warmth of another human body cuddled into my own. 

I love biking into and out of the forest, Dragon (my bike)'s wheels jumping up with every protruding root from the Earth, making my breath jump into the throat, and forcing a smile that turns into a laugh up from my unbalanced feet into my open mouth, a loud "HA!" that makes the squirrels jump down out of their warm nests in surprise. 

Beautiful Life. 

Precious, precious. 

I look back onto Taiwan photos and that world feels so surreal and far away. I have already seen Efan and Shulin who I saw in Taiwan. Soon, I will see Amie again, and Larry too- here in the USA. Worlds falling apart, and coming together again. I keep reminding myself, "I carry Taiwan and my 2.5 years of Asia travels with me. It's across the globe, but it's here inside of me too. I carry this with me." Teaching yoga and practicing Thai massage after so long of no practice after wrist surgery, I question my confidence, my practices, my knowing. I know nothing. The more I learn, the more I understand just how little I really know. The more I desire to learn. The less I feel I know. Empty bowl, full bowl. Full moon, new moon. 

Cycles upon cycles. 

--

 ~~~~~~~
  Jiling . 林基玲 

  . wild . creative . spirit 

  www.JazArt.blogspot.com 

  626.344.9140 / skype: Lin.JiLing

herbal medicine clinic- notes

I want to share what I am learning in herbal classes and clinics, and create discussion around these topics, to further our understanding of healthcare and herbal medicine. Please message me with any feedback, questions, or thoughts that arise after reading this, and future posts! Thank you. 

My goal is to write something related to clinical, botanical, or medicinal knowledge/ learnings/ observations on a weekly basis. Below are some herbal medicine clinic notes from working with 7song at the Ithaca Free Clinic, and listening in classes with 7song at the Northeast School of Botanical Medicine. I am greatly enjoying my learning here, and excited to share with you, my larger community: 

How to be an Herbal Clinican... some initial notes:

- Start noticing and observing the patient as soon as they walk in. Note posture, general energy, small details in where they carry tension in their body, their eye contact when they say hello, quality of voice, what they address, etc. 

- Think fast and talk with a calm yet commanding voice. Establish rapport and give feeling of confidence. 

- Know how to gracefully cut people off in their stories. People will often talk for too long about their health-related (or even non-related) stories. As we have limited time with each patient, we must be judicious with our time management, and know what questions to selectively ask, and what stories to listen to. 

- "How can I help this person?" is the first question to ask, instead of "What herbs fit this situation?" 

- Ask, "What are your symptoms?" And then, we can explore what is the root cause of the symptoms (instead of treating the symptoms), and work towards rooting out the the root. Get specific. Is this an acute or chronic disease? 

- For patient compliance, keep the medicine simple: down to 2-3 medicines to take. 

- We're healthcare workers first, and herbalists second. As herbalists, we must know when to refer patients to other practitioners, and not be hard-headed about treating ONLY with herbs. Modern medicine lacks attention to individuality; herbal medicine offers other choices. Holistic medicine looks at the person as a whole being, and treats it as such. I enjoy seeing when people come to us because nothing else has worked... and herbal medicine is working, if only a little, sometimes a lot. I also saw this in the Chinese medicine clinic in Taiwan. I am sure that all clinics see this: Western medicine cannot successfully treat whatever disease/symptoms the person is undergoing so they try something different: "alternative"/ "traditional" medicines. And then, sometimes, in the best cases, it works. In other cases, it offers something new to try. This may give a feeling of hope. Or, this may give a feeling of further frustration/stress when it doesn't work. Either way, it's another choice.

- Herbal clinic work is first being a great listener and asking great questions, and secondly knowing how to treat with plant medicine, or refer to other practitioners. 

- Offer workable lifestyle change suggestions, such as dietary changes, exercise, and changing the living environment, if possible. These can contribute more to longterm relief than medicines. Preventative medicine, first!

- Patients sometimes come in not really understanding what's going on this their own bodies, or not understanding some elses' diagnoses of their symptoms. Know how to explain things in a simple and understandable manner, while understanding the complex language with big words, of western medicine. 

- Facial expressions, projecting emotions, and offering comfort or sympathy: be emotionally present for a patient, but don't belittle them with sad faces or sounds of "awww," as that may make the person feel like you don't know how to help them. Instead, keep a straight face, collect objective information, and offer helpful solutions. 

- Stress contributes a lot to health problems. Lack of sleep can trigger many problems as well. Deep breathing and relaxation can go a long ways toward general health (hooray, yoga!) 

(Photos: a nest I found in the woods near my home, and some young thistles' basal rosette. I offer this circular imagery. as it reminds me of the imagery of the spiral, or of the snake eating its own tail: the Circle of Life. I feel like this Circle imagery is a good representation of healthcare, and life in general. Life is a circle. We are born, we get sick, we die. And a lot happens in between the book-ends of life and death, but this is the basic circle. Good healthcare helps make this circle round and smooth, making life transitions smoother, and the bumps along the way more comfortable and manageable. And preventative medicine is like building a solid nest, a strong bodily foundation, from which to springboard strong healthy vibrant human beings!) 

--

 ~~~~~~~
  Jiling . 林基玲 

  . wild . creative . spirit 

  www.JazArt.blogspot.com 

  626.344.9140 / skype: Lin.JiLing

full moon. women, gather!

dear women of my life, 

i started writing this letter just for the ladies close by in new england that i've seen recently, then realized i wanted to share with my greater community of women as well! 

just got back from a full moon gathering at the "foundation of light," a beautiful community that i just discovered thru a series of perfect "coincidences" (there are no coincidences)... and they're only 4 miles from my home 

before coming to ithaca, i was hoping to find a women's circle, and prepared to create one if i couldn't find one. i asked around all over the place, and couldn't find anything. this morning, i finally emailed this new interesting organization... and was surprised and delighted to find out (i am so blessed) that there was a women's circle here in ithaca... occurring this evening! perfect

ask for what you want

send it out into the Universe

let it go

and it will come 

we give thanks for unknown blessings already on the way... 

tonight, beautiful women 

clear skies 

big full moon 

sacred ceremony 

gorgeous voices lifted up in counterbalanced tones and songs

wild laughter

bare feet 

toe to toe

arm in arm 

new friends

sacred circle 

sacred women 

so 

grateful 

and now, for moon water!

lucy taught me moon water a long time ago... :) (love you lucy mama) 

i was reminded of my moon water ritual by a student i used to live with, who said to me, "jaz jaz jaz! you remember when you used to live at our house, and one full moon night, you woke us up at midnight to sing and dance and drum around the jar of moon water you were infusing behind the house?" i could only laugh, encourage the student to keep the tradition going, and give heartfelt gratitude for all the beautiful women in my life, gratitude for that big round moon that we cycle our blood and days around, and gratitude for all the magic that women have passed down, generation after generation, down to my generation... to pass down yet again! 

much love to you all, on this big belly sacred full round circle women moon spring blessing

big hugs

and a howl

jiling 

滿月, 寫信

i plan to write my chinese friends and family once a month (every full moon) to keep up my chinese skills (i would like to improve my chinese)- here's my first letter back to that home... and they will continue once a month. as an english speaker, you can ignore these letters or just admire the beauty of the elegant chinese pictographs :) 

--- 

家人好！

基玲已經回美國一個半月了！時間過得真快！ 

我要盡量一個月給你們寫一次信， 盡量練習寫中文。 

回了美國， 好開心哦！天天拜訪老朋友。 在加州， 看到大學同學， 還有跟我一起長大的朋友。 我和媽媽去joshua tree 沙漠露營一個禮拜。我很愛這個沙漠。 我回來時間剛好， 走到哪兒都是春天， 下雨， 開花， 新鮮空氣。 好爽！ 

回美國東北部， 來connecticut州拜訪這兒的老朋友。 好冷哦。地上都還是雪。我現在住在紐約州的ithaca小村在城外。 這兒好美哦。 都是樹， 又有水。 我住離老師家只有1 mile 距離。 走路過去只要十分鐘。 這兒有很多小鹿， 多彩多姿的花草樹木和鳥。 真的好美。 我住在一個老屋子。 天氣更好了， 我就要搬進森林小木屋。 

昨天晚上， 是滿月。 好美哦。 肥肥胖胖的滿月把森林和草坪都用光包起來， 雲快快飄飄的飛過去。 打雷， 大雨。 今天早上， 太陽普照。 我要去尋找春天的新花苞。 明天， 我們正式開始工作， 開始種花， 開始變得很慢！ 我今天要享受最後一天的自由！哈哈。

我打算每個滿月寫信過來∼ 如果沒寫， 請提醒我！ 

祝福你春天開花， 天天開心！

love,  基玲

--
 ~~~~~~~
    Jiling . 林基玲 

    . wild . creative . spirit .
    www.JazArt.blogspot.com
    skype: Lin.JiLing
    usa: 626.344.9140

hitchhiking from newtown, ct to ithaca, ny

after a full day of thumbing on the roadside squinting into the sun to look into the eyes of hundreds of drivers in cars rolling by, basking in stories-connection-humanity of five drivers with rich lives and diverse backgrounds, and talking my throat into now-common soreness, i am now delighted and grateful to sit with romantic candlelight, steaming chai tea, warm blanket, rooftop rainsong, and my own quiet self at the end of the day, from one home back to another, happily hitchhiked and safe and home home home 

internally 

home 

i wanted to write and share about my journey today, because i realize that i have hitchhiked so much. and often, i get asked the same questions: "are you safe?" and "have you ever been unsafe?" 

today was a good reflection of the good days 

and a solid reminder of the goodness of humanity 

"don't hitchhike," chided my friend's father, "you'll get killed." 

words like these send a cold numbing chill down my spine. 

"how have you remained safe?" spurs on my go-to answer of, "intuition." 

trusting my inner knowing. 

i am safe because i listen to my intuition, i send out and receive back good energy, and my body language says, "respect me. because i respect myself."

i have never turned down a ride, but i have once asked to be dropped off early. 

nobody has ever harmed me while hitchhiking, though i have felt uncomfortable with drunk drivers driving too fast, and should have listened to my instincts and just not gotten into those drunk drivers' cars in the first place. 

but mostly, i have met so many different beautiful people from all walks of life through hitchhiking, gotten where i needed to go, and had my faith in humanity renewed time and again, 

like today 

no big dreamy ideals for today 

i just wanted to beat the greyhound 

it takes the greyhound bus 8 hours to get from new haven, ct to ithaca, ny

it is only a 250 mile journey, which takes 4 hours to drive by personal car

greyhound takes such a long time because the usa, one of the supposed richest countries in the world, has a practically inexistant public transportation system. to get to ithaca from new haven, i'd have to catch the greyhound down into new york city, wait for 2 hours, and then get a ride up to ithaca. 

i looked at the map

decided that i didn't want to go into nyc

and vowed to beat the greyhound 

i would hitchhike my way back up to ithaca 

what a long, beautiful, heart-opening, exhaustingly delicious day 

thank you to the hitchhiking gods for protecting and making speedy today's sacred journey

and big thanks to all the beautiful people sent my way today 

and that's what i want to write about:

the people 

the people who picked me up 

people who pick up hitchhikers in general

and just, 

people 

everyday, most people in the usa drive somewhere 

we pass by hundreds of people in cars without engaging in eye contact 

we are within arm's length of each other but never reach out to touch, or even shout over raucous hello's at stop signs 

i was driving with my elder bill, during his weekly bread delivery of day-old bread that would otherwise be trash, to his friends and people in need who could do with some extra bread, but mostly- extra cheer 

we noticed an interesting license plate on the car in front of us, from vermont 

we bantered and debated over the meaning of the obscure yet fascinating license plate 

at the stoplight, to my delight and surprise, bill rolled down my window and gestured at the mystery driver next to us to do the same 

he obliged, and bill yells over, "hey! what does your license plate mean?" 

turns out it's the name of his farm, a beautiful name, and we all smile, engage in eye contact, 

and we drive off 

the world is a better place 

hearts have been opened just a little bit more 

one 

small 

act

one

small 

question

one 

big 

shout! 

and today,

two thumbs 

first ride of today is pictured here, justin. he is earth; i am sky. we dated each other before i moved to asia for 2.5 years, and it's great to see each other and reconnect again. he's the reason that i lived in ct for a whole year, struggling and celebrating my way through the longest i've-been-in-one-place home since i started traveling (7 years of travel, 1 year in ct). as i return to ct, i see that i am still in love with all my community here, and wonder about this question of "home," again. sacred questions.

justin drops me off at a newtown exit, and i wait about 5 minutes before a man in an office suit and shiny new small red car pulls over. i am too delighted to be surprised. he drives me to danbury, the next large town over, the town we coined "dangerbury" and i hoped not to have to hitchhike though. this man is a truck salesman with a daughter who just graduated from college and started her first job in corporate america, doing women's rights work for a nonprofit, after a year of job-searching post-graduation, and creating a life for herself in oakland, struggling with a job she doesn't like but needs- and her dad is proud of her. i think i remind him of his daughter, which is why he picked me up. he never told me that, but looked kindly into my face, "be safe, okay?" 

todd pulls over in a clunky dark red car, the kind of clunky car i'm used to climbing into as a hitchhiker. his voice and energy reminds me of my high school art teacher, mr burgan, which puts me at ease: he's an artist. he works with wood, making timberframe construction, and is passionate about beauty married to functionality. "i love my job!" he proclaims, and i howl with joy, as we rattle down the interstate at 60 miles an hour, passing exit after exit. he forgets where he is going as we talk about everything from deer beds to art school. i quickly fall in love with this brother who is following his heart, living his dream, working hard, and loving all of it. he is living with presence, and i appreciate that. "i've traveled across the usa 3 times now," says todd, "and now, i'm back." he's a native ct man. "wherever you go, there you are," he says. i mull over his words, savoring stories from a fellow traveler, now grounded back in his motherland, while i still float over the road, coming closer to grounding, still uncertain of what earth tastes and feels like, but eager to try. todd quotes pete seiger, "just find a good place, and dig in!" he acknowledges that life has been difficult, following his heart and doing work as a traditional craftsman, "but it's so worth it. i love my job. i love my life." i think of justin, struggling along financially yet soaring in all other ways, following his heart, working so hard, making his life uniquely his own. i think of my own life with all its twists and turns and invisible bends that topple everything that came before. i think of the lives of my parents who came to this country knowing nothing and no one, then got stable jobs, committed relationships, and have walked down their career paths with one foot right in front of another. joy is what you make of it. and i am accept this dance. 

todd drives me all the way to new paltz. our rich conversation decreases the distance, and i jump out- jerry picks me up next, and drives me a few exits down to newburgh (new york, now!) where he lives- he's originally from down south, but is now a newburgh landscaper who "does everything" for his job. he talks with a strong southern drawl, eyes crinkly from smiling, skin browned from long days in the sun, and large strong hands that open the door for me, help me with my bag, and gesture widely as he speaks, deep vocal tones like milk chocolate. "my nickname is nightcrawler," he says, "they also call me old gizzard... what's your nickname?" "crow," i answer, "my wilderness school students call me crow." he takes me to the bus station to inquire about tickets and rides for the future, agrees with me that public transport in the usa is strongly lacking, and drops me off on the off-ramp where, before i can even get my pack on my back again, i am thumbing at the first car that passes by, and it actually--- this time, i am very surprised--- it stops! 

i didn't even have to wait for this ride, and this ride is gorgeous: a shiny new luxurious jeep with black leather seats, the smell of cigarettes, and a stylish blonde woman my mother's age with a name tag labelled HOSPICE and her name, helen, underneath. what a lucky day. my elder bill was one of the first people to do hospice work in the usa, and i hope to one day do this work, as well. i am fascinated by birth, life, sickness, death, and healing: for this is life. in all its richness, gross rawness, and plain majesty. this is life. helen takes me to her office to refill my waterbottle and go pee. she introduces me to her fellow workers as, "you won't believe this new friend that i just met. i picked her up off the side of the road." and they really didn't believe her. she has three children (always end up learning about peoples' children, in great detail, and to my fascination- i wonder how my parents talk about me?) helen's children are: skydiver, tattoo artist, Ph.D student. she explains that she has always told them to follow their heart, and that the most important thing in life is to "respect yourself." "because," helen adds, "if you can't respect yourself, then you can't respect anyone else, either." i ask her if she ever worries about her skydiving son. "well, he said to me, 'mom, you always taught us to follow our hearts, and do what gives us the greatest joy. if i ever died falling out of the sky skydiving, then i would die with my heart singing and joyful.'"

helen drops me off at the road i need to change onto, 17. i give her a huge hug, and am back on the road again, chill wind blowing, warm sun on my face. it's an intersection with few cars, right next to a hotel, and police sirens screaming around (mystery emergency). i guzzle down my lunch, weaving my thumbs through the air enticingly at passing cars. no bites for a full half hour. feeling tired, getting ready to listen to some ingwe stories to rejuvenate myself when, KSSSHHHH a big black SUV parks a few feet past where i am standing, doing my thumb dance. today is a lucky day indeed. his name is john. he's driving a long ways. he doesn't mind passing through ithaca. hell, he could even just stick my address on his gps and we could go straight there. we do that. 

john is my final ride of the day. he has a furry head with hair that runs down his neck all spikey, and i can imagine it continues jogging down his back all the way down to his feet. he sits solid and earthy in his seat, with solid arms that could wrestle a bear, and a big full laugh that fills the SUV with merriment. turns out he's an army veteran, and is now working with fiber optics. he drives around often as part of his work, and is also familiar with travel. "but my greatest passion in life is fishing," he says, eyes lighting up. we jump straight into deep water, as i plumb him for war stories. the reality of these tales move me to tears: war is ugly. death is real. most soldiers are young. they are fighting for some unseen political figure that hasn't grown up and is moving around these human beings as if they are faceless chess-piece killing-machines, playing legos with bodies and artillery. it disgusts me. i cried as john relays the story of how he pulled a friend out of landmine right after the landmine blasted off both his friend's legs. "did he make it?" i ask, knowing the answer. "no," john replies, "and his bright demeanor dims, just for a moment, "he died within 15 seconds, in my arms. and he wasn't the only one." i weep. "i have held dying people in my arms. i have killed." this is so real. "i have been so close to death that it makes me more appreciative of life." we have only one life to live and it is so precious, so transient. we start discussing spirituality and our belief systems. john is hurt. he hates wars now. i can't understand them either. i ask him his solution to war, what's the best way to resolve issues between countries? "easy," he responds, "just put the political leaders in a fighting ring, and let them have at it." i like this idea! if only it were that easy. how does killing, maiming, hurting, destroying solve any problems? it only makes them worse. john doesn't have a solid religious belief. it sounds like he is constantly questioning and reexamining many things. he reflect my question back to me, regarding spiritual orientation. "i don't follow any particular faith," i answer, "but i adore nature." this sparks a delighted flurry of fresh stories from john, who bangs the steering wheel and shouts, "yes! yes! yes! i find God in Nature, too!" he relates a powerful story of being in his small boat, pulling in a stranger's much larger boat in to shore through a massive storm. he reflects on how alive he felt in that moment, and how he felt close to death too. "you're a hero," i say. he says that makes him feel embarrassed  "well, you are," i say, "you did something that nobody else would do. so own it. you're a hero." he has a plate in my hand with multiple pins, like me. we discuss accidents, and i ask him for the story of his wrist. for the first time, he visibly grimaces. "i don't like this story," he says. "i saw my friend stepping onto a landmine, so i pushed him off of it..." he trails off. "...and it blows up on you, instead," i finish for him. his hand was blown to pieces by the landmine. "the worst part of war that you never hear about or see in the movies is the smell. it smells like burnt plastic, burning metal, roasting flesh, dangerous chemicals, and worse." 

today, i hitchhiked with a medium-aged practical truck salesman, a young timberframe construction worker/artist filled with heart and reality, an older landscape designer/gardener with a wicked twinkle and strong accent, a hospice nurse/ mother/ healing-hands practitioner middle-aged woman filled with love for the world and belief in goodness, and a veteran of many wars/ fisherman/fiber optics technician who many people talk with on the streets because of his warm smile

today, i renewed my faith in humanity by dipping into the stories and lives of five love-giving, life-affirming, car-sharing humans

i am so grateful 

and now, 

tea time

yin yoga slow practice

and then 

sleep

this is life 

so sweet

yet bitter

sharp yet smooth

just the way i love it

dark chocolate 

this is life

--
 ~~~~~~~
    Jiling . 林基玲 

    . wild . creative . spirit .
    www.JazArt.blogspot.com
    skype: Lin.JiLing
    usa: 626.344.9140

teaching English in Taiwan

here's the go-to website for finding English teaching gigs and relevant info about Taiwan for foreigners

http://tealit.com/

some Facebook resources for Taipei, Taiwan below...

great for finding English-teaching jobs 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/TaiwanTeachingJobs/

great for finding substitute-teaching jobs

https://www.facebook.com/groups/7582330765/

a potentially good job-search site 

https://www.facebook.com/asianconsultants

asia retrospection

a seven hour bus ride passes in a flash as i organize music and photos
accumulated from my last few months in taiwan
as i realize i am preparing to leave, suddenly everything becomes
absolutely precious, and life accelerates
i haven't fully engaged in my daily practices ever since i bought my
ticket to return to the usa
life has felt nonstop since then
i don't regret any of it
i am grateful for all the movement and excitement, and all the beauty
of my myriad friendships
and i am ready for a week of rest- most likely i will be running
around getting adjusted to my new home (where in ithaca?), and then
breathing deeply thru some quiet peaceful solitary moments before the
new storm
storm of information, new community, new landscapes, new experiences
passing through new york city, i remembered taipei- the largest city
in taiwan, the capitol city of taiwan, my home base for the past 2.5
years in asia
"i thought you wouldn't come back," said brenda, "you sounded happy there."
watching the city people speed walking around, i remember the city
noises, smells, and bustle
the feeling of home, settledness, and community that i experienced by
the end of my time in taipei feels similar to the community feel that
i weave around myself in an eco-village, or any other community
it's not the city or the country
it's what i choose
looking through all these photos and listening to various sound recordings,
i feel glad to have returned to the usa
the question keeps returning:
why
why did i leave
why did i return
what did i learn
what did i bring back with me
what lessons am i continuing to learn
how have i changed
how have i remained the same
and what now
in many ways, i feel like i have taken a long break
and now i am resuming my life where i left off
i came back to ct, back to my family here
and in ma too
though i haven't visited vt yet, i know i have family there too
and now for new family in ny
i was contemplating herb school even before leaving usa
and now time for this
and all the learnings of 2.5 years of asia travel will more greatly
inform my life choices
i feel more "mature" and strong and grounded
i also feel older
2.5 years have taken their toll on my bones: i no longer jump off
walls and take off running
i carefully crawl down
i still feel scared to confront uncomfortable issues
but i am more honest now
i feel a nagging sense of exhaustion
is it over fatigue from travel
or just unintegrated experiences weighing on me and erupting yawn
after yawn from my mawing mouth?
"you seem stronger," says kari. i feel it
i feel a mountain rising within me
how to integrate?
keep writing chinese letters back to taiwan friends
practice writing chinese articles regarding the herbal medicine i am
learning here
stay connected with my blood and other family in taiwan
teach yoga
stay strong in my personal practices of yoga, pranayama, zifagong
give massages
practice acupuncture point location via acupressure and meridian
scraping and moxibustion on myself and others
chop wood, carry water
in taiwan, chop wood, carry water
in usa, chop wood, carry water
everywhere, same same.
but different.

some powerful/beautiful/life-changing life-affirming heart-opening
moments over the past 2.5 years of asia travel:

- 3 months taiwan -
- birthday camping in wulai mountains with uncle, watching shiny
silver fish swimming from high on cliff, jumping into ice cold waters
and screaming in delight at beauty of frigid emerald green pure
taiwanese deep mountain rivers
- celebrating chinese new year with family
- watching new years fireworks from rooftop, 13th floor
- visiting tayal tribal folks with taymu watan in wulai mountains

- 3 months china -
- practicing yoga on shenzhen rooftop in morning silent stillness
- dancing with hundreds of people in park with kendal and laughing
uncontrollably
- folk dancing with frederik late night in park
- biking through endless muddy paddy fields with indier staff, pre-students
- my last group of students, just watching their bright faces and
listening to their stories on train ride home, all in same cabin,
laughing and sharing

- 3 months thailand -
- reconnection with old college friend sab in bangkok, near river
filled with floating lilies
- studying massage with guy and muay, biking into and around chiang
mai, daily massages
- permaculture studies at tacomepai with sandot, tadam, damien, and
family in the edible jungle garden where you throw out mango seed
after eating mango and after a few days, mango grows
- morning hot spring motorbike visits with damien
- swinging machete thru forest, making bamboo baskets and ties with
mountain folk, warming fires, bright green snakes, bamboo rice, native
lifeway
- wet, cold, weak, hungry, mosquito bitten 4-day fasting in hammock in forest

- 5 months taiwan -
- finding family: tara, ah ji, ah fu ge, marina, etc
- my sit spot behind ah ji's house at river and stones (ah po tan) in
yangmingshan mountains
- spending half week in mountains, half in city
- struggles and inspiration in acupuncture class and clinic
- sacred silence after my final performance piece for teacher wu's
body-theater dance class and every amazing class, learning how to
"fly" our bodies
- sacred mountain time camping at taroko for birthday, river adventures

- 4.5 months india -
- my sit spot near river in kerala, playing flute, swimming, watching
sky and birds and reflections and bananas
- the first rain, right after training finished- dancing, celebrating,
running, singing through rain, watching river
- sharing heartsong bird story for graduation ceremony for the second
training, sacred silence after
- singing sacred songs with babu and feeling spine tingles
- laughter, comraderie, connection, delight during song sharing
circles in my room, echoes bouncing off walls
- camping in aum aumma cave above tiruvanamali, sacred silence solo,
final night group celebration/ sacred improv and bhajan music echoing
in cave
- laugher yoga with rumi and friends on big rocks late at night after
visiting sadhu's pool, back to temple
- deer park: tinkling bells, prayer flags, winds, stars, milky way,
himalayas, endless treks, waterfalls, sacred river, sunset rooftop
songs with lingjia (my best friend there and soul-brother), teaching
lamas yoga and english (i love my crazy lama students), laughing
endlessly, meditating in sacred temples, sleeping under stars, roaming
with hairy himalayan dogs, feeling so strong, healthy, happy, peaceful

- 1 month nepal -
- jumping wall out of temple to visit lingjia, share stories, laugh,
jump wall again, pretend to be a good meditator, count mosquitoes
- recovering from toe infection thru diverse medical explorations

- 1 month china -
- beautiful yunnan province and kindness of friends of friends, tea parties
- unexpected connections in shanghai, laughter yoga, yoga students
turned best friends
- river time under wudangshan, visiting daniel

- 6 months taiwan -
- deepening body-mind-spirit connection practicing 5 hours daily of
zifagong chigong (spontaneous chigong) and expanding awareness and
perception, refining my senses in monastic environment
- sharing heartsong bird story in chinese, getting audience to sing,
sacred silence afterwards, "you brought me to tears" feedback
- teaching chakra yoga and vocal opening classes- i love teaching, and students
- sharing taiwan and chigong experience with ma and sister
- wrist surgery heartbreak, struggle, and community support
- sacred connections with community all over taiwan: my zifagong
community, mountain community, dance community, and local community of
larry, marina, alex/yulia at end

this was a quick summary
that tries to condense 2.5 years of magic into a smallish collection
of experiences
looking back at my asia travels, even my most recent travels back into
california and new england...
every moment is so precious
i remember a particular experience
when i first landed at deer park institute (a converted temple) in
northern india
that night i climbed up to the top of main temple to watch sunset
on nearby building, i see one other person. he sits in the shadows,
playing guitar
wind blows over a few strands of music
and i love the ethereal improvisational tingly tangly melody
half of me is tired, shy, wary
half of me really wants to go connect
"just go," whispers my adventurous, knowing, self, "you only live once"
and so, i went
and every night afterwards we made music together on rooftop, he with
guitar, i with vocals or flute
and we became best friends and travel partners
whenever i feel too tired to adventure or too lazy to try something
new, i am reminded of this experience
and how taking a chance and saying "yes" to the unknown, infinite
possibility, slight danger of anything happening
leads to surprises that gives me cheek-aching endless ear-to-ear
smiles that radiate from heart to eyes to face and all the way out
into universe
and so, i make my leaps
saying things i wouldn't have said before this trip
looking people in the eye when i'd rather shy away
and walking out into the dark night to jump on the trampoline when
half of me would rather be sleeping
take chances
say yes
delight in each moment
on the last leg of my all-day triple-connection flight from los
angeles to new york city, i sat next to a young man from punjab area
of india
he bobbed his head and his shoulders went up and down as he enjoyed
his music on headphones, fingers tapping on legs, feet moving, entire
being engaged with the music
as we prepare to take off, he flattens his hands against his legs,
lips pursing into a "shhheeeoooo!" sound
i mimic his movements, and he looks at me and nods, smiling (no
self-consciousness whatsoever)
"this is my favorite part of flying," he says, hands dipping down
along his run-way leg and taking off into the air
tracing miracles in the air
i agree, "i love taking off... and landing too.
there's something magical about leaving the ground, and returning again."

ithaca, day 2

clouds move quickly over the sky
stars glimmer through
i know i am not alone
i am filled with ecstasy
for a moment
i feel absolutely light, interconnected, empty and full all at once
suspended between earth and sky
in between jumping between the medium-tempo-clouds above my head and
the huge bouncy black trampoline beneath my feet,
each jump like a dip between magic and magic
my body feels so light, my heart as well, my mind empty
bliss
i live a mile from 7song
we have 50 acres in our backyard that connects with other peoples'
backyards or woods
my next "free" day i will go introduce myself to all the neighbors and
invite myself into their backyard woods
and figure out how to traipse to 7song's house through the woods
i'm living in the barn, waiting out the end of winter and patiently
(yet eagerly) awaiting warmer days, so i can move out into the woods
in the meantime, i have finally unpacked a month's worth of 80 pound
luggage from taiwan to california to new york to connecticut to ithaca
lug-around-sound-like-airport-smell-like-endless-travels big blue
suitcase, medium grey backpacking pack, and small leather purse
have made myself at home and am delighted to have peace, my own space
(it's really nice), a kind landlord/neighbor/new friend, no running
water yet (frozen pipes) but functional electricity and heater (though
i still feel cold), and trampoline, treehouse (deer stand), and
abundant woods to explore and fall in love with (it has already
happened)
at 10 pm tonight i found myself full of energy and delight, and
walking under starlight and clouds to the trampoline that sits at edge
of field and forest, the magical place where so many plants thrive
jumping like a happy kid, a month of travel exhaustion leapt out of my
body as well
finally flumping down and uncontrollably laughing with joy i fall into silence
and feel my heartbeat and breath moving the nylon fabric of trampoline
as from a distance i hear and feel west wind moving through the forest
trees above my head finally tremor and sing as wind pulls thru
i nestle my body deeper into the trampoline, my shavasana (corpse
pose) solid and sticky like dehydrated mangoes- delicious, too
earlier in the day, during sunset, i jogged through the forest to get
to the western high point
treehouse (deer stand) at the highest corner of the land
small drop-off leads to a valley i haven't explored yet, can fuzzily
make out ithaca through the trees, in the distance
can barely hear sound of cars, drowned out by sound of trees rustling,
wind blowing, birds laughing
climbed up treehouse- will add rope reinforcements tomorrow. still a
little dangerous right now climbing up to eagle's eye view, 360
panorama
rainbow sunset, endless parade of naked trees preparing for spring
buds, soft golden earth below me
made a promise, asked for blessings, sacred herbs blown into wind for
this land and all listening spirits- i am here, i am yours, be mine
too
we are for each other
big gratitude
and now!
sleep
(below, in chinese- i want to keep practicing chinese. this is what
that looks like. my best try :) and, i will keep persisting!)
第二天在ithaca
好開心哦
找到了
美麗的新家
心家！
我喜歡我的師父，7song(七歌!)
他知道很多， 又愛說笑話
很有趣
我住在農夫的家
一個大屋子裡， 只住我一個人
屋子後面就是森林
我家離師父家很近
後面森林裡有小木屋
現在晚上還太冷
地上還有雪
天氣1-2個月好了之後， 我會搬到森林裡的小木屋
也有一些在高高的樹上的treehouse
在小山坡上， 風景很美
能看到整個山谷
因為現在樹還沒有葉子
夏天時， 應該看不到山谷底下了
會有太多葉子！
從樹上看太陽下山太美了
靠近馬路我們有個大草坪
因為這兒沒有樹， 看得到廣大的天空
夏天會有螢火蟲
現在晚上好冷哦
我師父家後面有個下池塘
剛剛融化
我們也有小池塘
有些還有冰塊！
晚上雖然冷， 如果沒有雲， 就看得到天空滿滿的星星
我開心極了！