to roll around this city
knowing where i walk
confidence with the cadence of my feet stepping
upon ground that i have left and returned to and left and returned to
often for the past two years
and way back to when i was a few months old
this home of
taipei
endless car rhythm
like a cage or a drumbeat
schedule tightly packed
like muscle around bone
morning with nainai grandma
eating too much deliciousness
stretching my smile, widening my heart
listening to stories with mama and nainai and aunt gugu
falling asleep, legs on mama's lap, soft murmur of adult voices
i have nothing to lose
and everything to gain
fear is a self-protection mechanism
that i can acknowledge
then let go
i have been hurt before
that's why i hold tension in my smile
and guard my heart
hey hey fear, i see you- namaste
and it's okay to
slowly
let
go
wake, rush, run to bus- perfect timing
roll up to acupuncture with teacher tofu
mama takes herself too seriously
her body is stiff, straight, and tight
more exercise that gets heart beating, dancing, and joyous
more massages, more freedom, more yoga
i like massage better than tcm cupping
painful needling techniques hurt
what is best for me to study?
keep learning one thing then onto another
it's all useful, coalescing
most important is heart
then connecting hearts with my taipei-mama, aji
sitting under streetlight, bats overhead, seven-star mountain overlooking
follow your dreams
sometimes they take a lot of time to manifest
don't hold yourself back by others standards
jump for the moon
one day, i also want to make a music recording- of healing songs for earth and hearts
bus-ride back down the mtn, rush hr, dinner with grandma, appointments, earring admiration with aunt
i enjoying making my grannie ama laugh with crass jokes that completely knock her off-guard
calm walk, floating back to my taiwan university, to ceramics club
talk with teacher again
he's focused on ceramics all his life
will spend next 3 yrs of life preparing for his biggest gallery exhibit
what is a life, if nothing to show for it?
all love from students
i like being called "lao shi" too
and guiding others
i like the feel of university
this may be a good path
ceramics laoshi says with fervent absolute conviction
yes! follow your heart
your travels provide you absolute certainty for your path
don't be in any rush!
slow calm stroll home, stopping to visit marina en route
bump into tall canadian at the door
and so it begins
marina climbed today, first day, indoor wall
long white cotton acrobatics silk hanging from center of her room
cat purring, sharp little claws
laughter and connection, openness and freedom
it's past my bedtime
oh well
we go to fancy hotel, butt bumping down the street
reconnection with friends old and new, laughter
this is new yet familiar
i feel like i've just walked out of a nunnery
and into something tremblingly alive
divinity in humanity
i am tentative yet delighted
and wonder why nobody is dancing
to such wild and fabulous music
under such lights
with jeans radiating against the wall
records shining circles
and glass bottle decor
we lie against sofa
yoda teaches me
don't try, do. don't do, be
do be do be do be...
crazy poetry trees
skin to skin fascia kidney meridian oceanic waves weaving
energy lines correspond with muscles
i, dance therapy
he, physical therapy
she, art therapy
we talk about turtles, cockroaches, and bacon
hands soft on my chest, warm down arm, sweet against scar: 10-20 minutes, daily. one month
be gentle
it's beautiful to be strong
but even more powerful when you can choose strength or gentleness
you are beautiful when you are tired... more soft, feminine
don't need exhaustion and sickness to tap into the daisies and meadows elements within me
right now i am enjoying the fire and bursting balls of sunshine
hands cupped but not touching, ball of energy
tell me stories!
hand on shoulder, energy ball, rising
visualization
healing golden energy
rise up
lymph, move
infection, release
scar, close
arm, relax
heart, open
heart to heart
we sing on the mrt, voices a blur
i like having a background drone, a comfy earth element to ground and root for infinite potential rising and soaring or harmonizing vocals
stepping out of the bright mrt lights and into the darkness with venus above ( i know you )
i enjoy not knowing where i am, at home and finding my way again
thank you for sharing my journey
