drip drop

so many single one one one drops coming down all together
creating a massive symphony of morning wake wake wake music
wake wake wake heart pulsations and head rememberings of times long ago
yet not so long ago because the one one wake wake drip drops
are reawakening these old lived times into new now
drip drop
sitting wedged into the corner of my ucla co-op room windows
warm in cotton and wool on the fifth floor of a seven floor building
cup phone and prayer flags down to second floor of a one heart love friend
two pillows laid side by side in the corner of two big windows
watching a city that never sleeps
sleeping and dreaming then, of mountains and adventures many
mountain wilderness deep in our souls to drift together on currents mysterious
drip drop
morning wake up by two small boys crusted with dirt and joy
time to play, rousing from more dreams under reeds, grasses, and deer hides
to pit pat on a new ceiling
sharing glowing eyes and laughter by firelight and dinner in coal
burned bowls with hands crusted with dirt, wood, and sweet air
drip drop
limbs entangled from a sleep dream night dance
hair and eyes sleepy yet wakeful and grateful for a new day
good morning my love
warm inside a well built shelter
so close to the rain, and yet so warm and dry
grateful for skills old and new
thankful for glowing eyes of brotherhood and sisterhood, friends old and new
magic rising and flowing around and thru us
we are but channels
our hands balancing and trembling as our eyes connect in wild wonder
we are more than just this
drip
drop
teens and adults under a tarp
sky is flowing rain down
and we are laughing under the tarp
drip drop
heading off into the wilderness for my first real solo
rain coming down harder with each step
two small junipers call me
yes! come!
and i hearken to their call
a rainbow appears
drip
drop
wishing i was anywhere but here
as fire steams each sizzling downward drop
and concerned eyes watch me
drip
drop
kneeling on a tatami mat
candles to my left, mullein to my right
hot tea boiling behind me, red leaves and rain in front of me
my drip drop body resonates with all these
drips and drops of days long past but still walking with me in the
core of my being
wrinkles are rising from my depths to my skin's surface
my hair is longer than it's ever been
i am leaving here again in two days
all this moves so
(drip
drop)
quickly
all the leaves are falling are falling
hordes of geese honking westward westward everyday
hugs love and smiles by day, tears and sadness by night
and a constant looking upward and downward for reminders of flight and grounding
i am here mama earth, papa sky
yes i am here
my heart is so full of every possible drip drop sky could ever rain
down to earth

circle open yet unbroken

community coming together in a circle 

around a brown dead rose 

breathing and moving as one

we send golden light streaming into the rose

it, billowing like a jellyfish cloud of petals all aflutter

blushes pink again 

dreaming 

of dead flowers reviving

grandmothers' voices singing

and women's faces morphing from one into another

decaying and recaying

thorns plucked out of old sores 

standing in circle centers with stone in hand 

loudly proclaiming with silent strength

i am here 

i am home

i have come

i am done

circle streaming energy into broken limbs to revive and energize 

broken limbs billowing like petal clouds of jellyfish 

rose hearts aglow and ever open shining 

there are infinite roads and possibilities 

and oh what a lovely life this is and is not

what a life 

your brother is my sister is my brother is my dream is my 

self

when i walk i step lightly 

invisible artemesia rising up rising every up 

from the clay dust of dirt road

invisible branches and stems rising every rising

what is broken is never really broken 

what is dead is only composting back into life 

we are all just energy molecules bouncing around and

reactions exploding imploding interploding

let us interplode then 

like a bouquet of unbundled revived roses

let us intersect then

like water drip drop lines and circles reconnecting in 

vast limitless oceans of being

let us be then 

like infinite stars in an infinite galaxy

borne of infinite galaxies even more 

and composed of 

everything and nothing which is

we

(i can FEEL the super novas within me. i can FEEL the big bang that made we)

(hu d'ye mung, hu d'ye mung... oh what a butterfly dream dream dream...) 

to old new friends and new old friends

           thank         you
for
                 SEEING
            we

counting stars

for those who are counting,
i am also
i've been waiting and watching
and figuring and wondering
how one day fits into another and into another
so the weeks fly by and months fade into years into jeans into sheets into fires into ashes
for those who are counting
who's counting the stars?

we stood and watched sky turning from dusk into dawn
we sat and watched flames charring coals down into dust
we walked and walked over mountains and rivers
and now
we are
here

who's counting the stars?
seeing falling stars one by one
universe churning (tiny mighty we)
"there's the milky way"
"yes, and we are on the very edge of it"
"and there's more?"
"there's more"

he saw his first shooting star with us that night
and the years fly by and fade away
and he will still dream of this when old and toothless
these memories will swim with him as he floats through life

she walked with a limp on heels hurt borne of anger
a small pinky on her right hand hurt from anger
blind black rage borne of hidden old pains hiding in her gut
wrenching and twisting her every full moon as she bleeds and screams
into waiting darkness

who's counting the stars?
children of pain and loss, children of love and joy
i am walking and watching of you
you are walking and watching of i
we twine and intertwine
fingers weaving unbreakable fields of hearts
hearts blooming and blossoming on fresh winds and soarings

until it's harvest time
back to the earth
back to the mother
fade this away
so it can regrow another

back to the earth
back to the mother
fade this away
so i may regrow another
compost time
pithy pitchy pine of deep forest
giant sequoia hug and hold me
my heart is sinking into this mother
it is midnight here and noon over there
it is midnight here and dawn over there there
it is dawn over there there and dusk over there there there
who am i to say
who am i
who am i to say
where am i
i am here
turning with the here here there there
rolling with the it yes all mighty
sitting standing walking
BEING
with all yes
counting the stars
yes counting the stars!
i am counting the stars
in your eyes
in the dirt
in the leaves
in my heart

days for the stars to count

(from an email)
---
hello loved ones!

i hope you're enjoying the autumn winds!
i am about ready to head west again...
and i finally booked a ticket back! and finalized plans!

am leaving brattleboro, vt / new england on oct 4 via train
landing in new mexico on oct 7 (new moon) to hangout with a landscape i've been dreaming about for the past year.. and my plant man elder named doug :)

will be leaving new mexico week of oct 18 in time for (full moon) back in california... back to la familia of blood relations and old friends and MY MOUNTAINS! mmm

and then plan is to head to taiwan either week 2 or 3 of november (new moon, rising)
my grandma's birthday is week 4 of that month. right on time :)

(sigh) yes yes
lovelovelove
big thanks, big winds, big stones, big Love!!!
(small world)
me
jiling

yes

sing my body electric 

dance my mind unbound

unwind my fears like dandelion seeds 

and toss me into currents of surrender

release my unwinding like electricity of stars

trembling night beings jumping 

into depths of the unknown 

jump my lightning cords like 

bells on the wind

and then toss me up 

into the highest of forest trees

for i'm anchored

below the stones

red

drops of red blood

land on white quartz

red leaves above

blue sky above further

beyond white clouds

poof

and the land changes

poof

and wrinkles arise 

poof

drops of red blood

on leaves once green and now red

drops of red blood

on legs once bare and now bleeding

good night, connecticut moons

composed of all old endings

renewals stretch past horizons

where shall i walk

with legs so strong so new

roses in my stomach

butterflies in my heart

a new moon in the non-moon sky

this is a brand new start

hmmmmm

when i 

hmmmmm

roots extend down 

from feet to

hmmmmm

earth

and then

deeper still

for mama earth, etc (yes yes, love love)

i like 

(quite so very much) 

the taste

(salty sweat taste like tears)

(open mouth as i walk thru the forest)

of you 

(you! all around and within and every me)

i like

(yes like the desert loves the rain)

the smell

(nostrils dilating to heartbeat rhythm mother)

(shadows smell different than sunlight)

of you

(you! again! as am i!)

i like 

(infinite and beyond universe yes)

the look

(we see each other. we really do)

(different colors that come from the same source)

of you

(love. that's all we are)

i like 

(yes yes yes)

the sound

(waves crashing of infinite oceans)

(open ears open eyes open heart)

of you 

(open everything courageous everything)

i love

(lovelovevolvelove)

the feel

(rhymthic mother heartbeat mine as yours)

(when i open i feel as i am)

of you 

(i love you

i love i)

mmm

sun-baked bones

i'm rising from my own ashes

so that i may better understand them 

and ride the flames as brightly 

as i as ashes float on the wind

and then bury back into the damp musk of

soil

random acts of soulful beauty

spritzing good smells in unexpected places 

like on street lamps and in train stations

(like frankincense, myrrh, sandalwood)

(or rose and lavender)

(mmm)

---

leaving little love-notes randomly everywhere

saying stuff like 

"thank you for being" 

or "are you happy?" 

or... 

:) 

---

guerilla chalk art

with loving messages and doodles

in the streets

---

flower arrangements left on strangers' doorsteps 

floating falling flying being

legends

there is an old chinese myth

of a giant named peng gu 

i want to share it with you 

a story of strength, balance, 

and complete giving and surrender

journeying again

yesterday i deleted and uploaded a bunch of photos 

today i did a fire ceremony and burnt many things 

yesterday i strained many plant oils and vinegars into smaller jars 

today i consolidated many salves and balms into smaller jars

gifts and such 

plant days 

reminiscing days of giving thanks and saying farewell

i will see you in Dreamspace but not in present time again, soon 

sadness, joy, and celebration

and a lot of work!

so much time spent indoors 

organizing and divvying 

i wonder 

what new plants wait at my door 

as i step from this space into another world

yet unknown 

i wonder 

what new friends wait to receive me 

as i step 

with so much emptiness 

into a seeming black hole whole of 

unknowing? 

i wonder 

what new gifts are waiting

i wonder 

what unknown blessings

already on the way 

await

and smile at me as i pack 

and gather up my pack and my wits 

gathering all of myself 

as i journey forth

again

again 

again

?

fire

cleansing, radiating, transformative

devouring and composting

we are walking in the sun

bless these closed eyelids that dream 

(fire ceremony today)

summer 2010

thank you for sharing these experiences with me... either in person, or in heartspace! 

big Love

me

jiling

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2730777&id=2514403&l=b6865d5abb

post-Quest and photos with Efan

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2730762&id=2514403&l=8baf895bb2

back in ct

am back in connecticut 

landed to a happy reunion with elder bill and bethany family of brenda, marie, cats, chickens, alpacas, and many apples!

drum circle at night

so many molded herbs stored incorrectly...

clothes to give away

things to pack up

am leaving here again in a week 

and then off to california 

and then onwards!

ever onwards

this time to taiwan 

many questions from many people 

the questions drive me a little nutty 

but they are also good questions 

that make me think 

sooo 

exactly what am i doing? 

and who i am now? 

good questions 

medicine woman, rising

death

death to old ways and patterns of being that no longer serve me 

death to old clothes that no longer fit 

phoenix rising

ataris rising 

ever rising 

from these composting ashes of death

into newness

butterfly dreams

it's all just butterfly dreams 

there's mold on my shoes

i watched moon rise last night

and sun rise this morning

ever rising from the ashes 

cycle continuing flow on

songs that come and go from my mind

resonating with the inexplicable hum of singing bowls 

resonant universe