there's something about the 
that drive my cells 
c r a z y 
and a certain unspeakable 
torn between summer heat and winter chill 
balanced on the edge 
i smile 

i like this place 
walking between worlds 
neither sun nor moon, day nor night 
in between seasons 
the rain a cleansing transition between worlds 

i am both taiwanese and american 
logical yet artistic 
desert childhood, yet forest ancestry 
revering freedom and flow, yet also obsessed with order and control 
a striking balance 
between holding the pen lightly yet drawing strong lines 
with unique personal character 

world of sky
world of earth 

world of city civilized 
world of wild ancient 

travelling has been such a gift 
so has been staying put in taizhong for 3 months 
my backpack sits beside me, grey and tired 
just the smell of it makes me smile and grimace simultaneously 
what a journey 
between worlds of all sorts 
and now, a choice 
always, a balance 
choosing yet flowing 
fate, destiny

the music quickens 
2012 is coming to a close 
life is always dying and birthing, birthing and dying 
never ending cycle, 
nothing new, yet everything new 
zen koans endless! 

rising crescendo
step lightly yet with purpose 
you are magnificent, your influence grandiose 

i am seriously contemplating returning to usa in january or february 
i am researching my options right now 
and praying for guidance 
(choice, and flow) 
need to keep reminding myself that taiwan and asia will always be here 
neither goodbye nor hello are forever 
i can leave... and return... whenever i choose 
i use the money, i make it again 
i fly away, i fly back 

realized yesterday, walking through a tunnel and thinking about my huge extended non-blood family in usa and around the world 
that i will always miss people and places 
no matter where i go, 
i could always be somewhere else 
there is always the possibility of greener grass elsewhere 
i am here now 
(wherever you go... there you are!!!) 
appreciate each moment 
there will always be darkness to gripe about 
and imperfections to pick at 
there are points of learning in everything 
remain openhearted 
and follow the best, most suitable, brightest path 
maybe it's not the easiest path
maybe it's not even a clear path
God! i have bushwhacked for so long
path becomes clearer with each step 
each moment of silence providing more nourishment for further growth 

but what if...? 
you will have enough 
everything you need 
will come 

maybe it will be difficult 
but you will be okay 


your boundaries 


but know your limitations 
and turn them into opportunities

current limitation= right wrist 
opportunity for ample rest and growth
cherishing this sacred stillness 
as i lick
the knife's edge

reopening old wounds 
to reexamine them
and heal unhealed pieces 
falling down down Death Valley down only to climb back up again, gross and dirty, ready
working hard
rising up, then 
stronger than the winds on Everest