8.12.2010

star heart

thru spiraling smoke
bright stars shine inside
i find my way 
back

(Vision Quest this week in northern Vermont. Sacred silence. Prayers, loving thoughts, and blessings invited and gratefully accepted. I love you!!!) 

8.10.2010

love

love
enters my life
sometimes with silent padded steps
sometimes like a mighty gush of thunderstorm
sometimes so subtly, like a dandelion slowly opening
sometimes so overtly, like an avalanche stone crashing down a mountain
love
enters my life
sometimes sweetly
like fresh blueberries on a summer morning
sometimes sourly
with an aftertaste of blueberries forgotten in a bowl
love
sits
quietly
sometimes, watching my self as i step forward slowly
love
stands
strongly
as i pick myself back up
from the avalanche
and piece back together
freshly kilned clay
and infinitude of hearts
and potential
rising
from the ashes of fiery flames
fruits borne of sunshine, sweat, dirt, and death
i am
love

(me and Justin just ended our romantic relationship a few days ago. i am doing okay, and grateful for love in all its forms)
(thank you my dear esteemed elder Bill, for the lovely photo, and for helping fire my clay hearts! and growing the tomato heart! :) )

8.07.2010

the Fall

August 7, 2006... the Fall. It's been four years now. Thank you...

7.22.2010

August itinerary

7/26 - 8/6= staffing kids' farm camp and African dance theater camp at Orchard Hill Farm (NH)
8/6 - 8/8= Daughters of the Earth gathering at Earthlands (MA) (I need a ride down from NH, if you know anyone...)
8/9 - 8/14?= Earthstory gathering at Earthlands (MA) (and then I need a ride up to northern VT, if you know anyone...)
8/15 - 8/21= Vision Quest (VT) 
final two weeks of the month... don't know yet. I will probably hangout with Luz Elena in Brattleboro, VT. I want to see Keith, Mira, Efan, Jason, Kalyan, Darcey, and Sean sometime this summer, too. I also want some kind of backpacking / survival camping trip. So, hopefully a small extended visit to Keith's farm and/or Kalyan's new farm, too. 
... and then I plan to return to Connecticut before September 5 for the Red Tent that day, and then start Two Coyotes' autumn children's programs on September 6! 

7.15.2010

desires

i really wanted!
to return to the desert
and work with "at-risk" youth
beautiful shining teenagers that society can't yet accept
and learn from plant-man doug
and a bunch of burros
and cacti 
and mountains
and a sky so big and wide
that my heart floods with blue
that merges with red
into the most vivid healing purple i've ever seen
as the hot desert rocks boom their deep booms 
and i know that 
we are held

i really wanted! 
to stay here and cultivate 
the relationships and seeds that i've set
and slowly watched sprout 
and am still blossoming 
so much love for so many people 
yet so often feeling so very 
alone 
and struggling
with restlessness and wants and needs and boundaries
boundaries 
don't cross my boundaries 

i am learning to see my boundaries 
and bravely state them when i need to
no more hiding them 
no more hiding 

i am stepping out into the sunshine 
from a morbid smoggy winter 
and sweating beads of mingled pain and pleasure 
the raw honesty of being alive and whole
with black, white, and all rainbow prismatic every nothings
swirled into a giant
center of the universe
cake!
cake

i really wanted!
yes i did! 
and i still do 
but i am learning

thank you

thank you 
for listening and watching and knowing and seeing
and holding and being
and being
just being 

thank you 
for all the prayers seen and unseen,
heard and unheard
for i feel them every time i cry into the wind
and she blows back with a kiss
and i know 
that i am blessed
with seen and unseen 
heard and unheard

thank you 
friends everywhere 

7.03.2010

yes love

watching bats fly around at dusk
minnows gathering around my toes and nibbling them
while i am swimming in ice pond
of all places!
yes, ice pond
clouds pink, sky blue
back out into the great known unknown beautiful
yes

6.23.2010

saint johnswort

today was a saint johnswort day!
hypericum perforatum 
"perforatum" for the small dots that light filter thru on the leaves
the flowers smell like heaven and will help further repair the ripped-up side of my face (from the Fall)
how does such a little yellow flower work such strong magic? 
i am in love!!