wrist- a retrospective

 all photos from August 2006, except for final photo

final photo before The Fall- near Giraud Peak, John Muir Wilderness, northern CA, USA

on the helicopter out of the mountains, after the Fall

, 

 I am lucky to be alive, spine intact, both wrists broken, face and body ripped apart but more than functional

nature is the best medicine 

right after cast first taken off, post-surgery 

 my mom made this photo of me right after they took cast off, admiring my hands and feeling grateful...

my wrist, today 

we are gonna get through this, learn lots... and I've promised to never do anything like this again to my wrist, or my Self. i completely love and accept myself, metal and all... and pray that i learn all the lessons i must learn from this journey of second-surgery, second healing, continuous healing journey... and, i patiently walk with this pain, this scar, and this healing process for now, until the day we can fully practice yoga, chigong, dance, climbing, and all the other beauties of life together again!

until then, i cherish it all!

.love. presence. gratitude. 

雨中- 陽明山- 魚路古道 ancient fisherman's trail- yangmingshan

hiking in the rain 

constant uphill 

to grassy plain 

cow dung everywhere 

mud all over my clothing 

boots wet, feet cold, heart ecstatic 

i love these mountains! 

slow downhill descent 

at times running over solid ground 

mostly carefully picking my way down ancient stone steps 

these trees have seen dinosaurs 

i love taiwan ferns 

mist everywhere, magical, romantic 

i dialogue with the trees 

composing songs no one else will ever hear 

breathing breaths to only be breathed once 

savoring each splendid moment 

my breath getting taken away 

waterfall after waterfall 

gentle rain feeding powerful rivers

nourishing the green mountains

i love this planet! 

and rivers- oh how i love rivers!

and stone! 

standing above the waterfall 

feeling her power

i realize who i am 

as well 

wrist

taipei- 4

rain blanket, drum rhythm 

earth shakes, sky blessings 

green things rising, humans crawling 

small life, big universe 

we hold it all within ourselves 

happy day, everyday 

tap in, spiral out 

joy thru tears, blue within rain 

today and everyday, big changes! 

opportunity for transformation 

clouds move fast, one month past 

stillness within movement

peaceful blissful central stillness 

just 

a 

heartbeat

rhythm 

of 

earth

just a heartbeat 

tinder packed tightly

precious little thing 

blown into flame 

strong winds 

i hold you to my chest 

set me on fire 

into the world 

dance me with water 

as we run fast on earth

legs leaping and twirling 

grounding and stomping 

these are ancient global rhythms we pound 

chest to chest 

fingers gently interlaced 

each small movement a prayer 

bodies shuddering, sweating, surrendered 

breath that moves through me 

thank you Creator 

i dedicate my life

to You

this dance is Yours 

i feel earth energy rising through my legs

drawing my movements 

i can still choose

how to place them 

and holding steady

when to rise and fall

with smooth

grace

or jagged 

edges 

sky jewels raining down 

to adorn trees and bless plants

cold taipei, winter setting in 

half of me, "go hike anyways"

the other half, "don't get your hand wet" 

considering already an infection 

better play it safe 

i watch the rain from my window 

in delight

wrapped up in old woolen jacket 

hot tea steaming 

colors at my fingers 

music thumping

heartbeat thrumming

breath soothing

my mama's last day here 

been 6 weeks now with mama 

and 4 with meimei, my lil sis 

my world changed and shifted dramatically during that time 

and tonight, i turn a new page again 

1- before my family coming here, life chapter title: 

fresh from india, studying chigong in taichong, struggling wild windy woman thing in the city 

2- chapter with ma and mei: 

wrist surgery heartbreak recovery, old traumas reopened, familial conflict and connection 

3- and tonight begins (i assume- i don't know yet until it happens): 

she flies once more, wrist strengthening, small travels resuming, mind-body-spirit focus evolving 

wrist teacher

swelling has reduced by alot 

numbness still in fingers 

no more headstands for a lil bit

rest is challenging and patience is slow 

what an amazing teacher 

forest lin family: nainai's feast

lins... ma with forest side of my family :) 

rainy hike

mama's rockin rock design: share the love with the world

taipei- 3rd morning

what are plans

when fate has other ideas? 

today i planned to take my ma up my favorite river walk 

to my favorite little place thus far in taipei

a small swimming hole at the base of a gorge

called apo tan

this morning i wake to the endless rhythmic beating of rain 

the path will be too slippery

river probably too high to walk up 

plans cancelled for.... another year or so 

today i am thoughtful and silent 

yesterday bored, today introspective 

today is my mama's final day in taiwan 

i feel like deep open connection is still lacking 

perhaps today is the day 

that all my dreams will come true 

lying in deep sleep 

under cover of rain 

a wiggle and crack

i know this heart will open 

i know my fears will fade away 

breath of deep fresh intoxicating air 

dizzying dreams of one final big island wander 

today i will look at maps and start pulling connections 

trembling anticipation of returning to home-across-the-world 

why is taiwan/ asia home so far away from usa home? 

today i will continue looking into grad school and talking to friends and teachers 

a yearning desire to connect, and a cold holding fear to do so 

today i will make left-handed art, right hand relaxing with iodine and cephalexin

i love you so much 

that i am afraid to get close,

and then be torn apart again 

river drum, rain beat 

my right arm wound is slowly closing 

fingers numb, hands tingling 

mother earth carry me, your child i will always be 

rhythmic rocking, drumbeat home 

today i will bring songs 

to translate from english into chinese 

together with my mama

and then 

we will improvise 

taking turns playing drone, understory monotone 

that undercurrent strength that guides river through waterfall splendids on top 

and then 

i let go of plans! 

i let go 

anything can happen, will happen 

i can only provide 

the beam structural guiding possibility of support 

the rest i leave up to you 

oh Creator 

thanks for making it oh-so-incredibly 

gorgeous 

in all it's unexpectedness, diverse colors, shadows, symmetry, dissonance, and 

perfection