there's something about the autumn
wind
that drive my cells
c r a z y
with
delight
and a certain unspeakable
longing
torn between summer heat and winter chill
balanced on the edge
i smile
i like this place
walking between worlds
neither sun nor moon, day nor night
in between seasons
the rain a cleansing transition between worlds
i am both taiwanese and american
logical yet artistic
desert childhood, yet forest ancestry
revering freedom and flow, yet also obsessed with order and control
a striking balance
between holding the pen lightly yet drawing strong lines
with unique personal character
world of sky
world of earth
world of city civilized
world of wild ancient
travelling has been such a gift
so has been staying put in taizhong for 3 months
my backpack sits beside me, grey and tired
just the smell of it makes me smile and grimace simultaneously
what a journey
between worlds of all sorts
and now, a choice
always, a balance
choosing yet flowing
fate, destiny
the music quickens
2012 is coming to a close
life is always dying and birthing, birthing and dying
never ending cycle,
nothing new, yet everything new
zen koans endless!
rising crescendo
step lightly yet with purpose
you are magnificent, your influence grandiose
i am seriously contemplating returning to usa in january or february
i am researching my options right now
and praying for guidance
(choice, and flow)
need to keep reminding myself that taiwan and asia will always be here
neither goodbye nor hello are forever
i can leave... and return... whenever i choose
i use the money, i make it again
i fly away, i fly back
realized yesterday, walking through a tunnel and thinking about my huge extended non-blood family in usa and around the world
that i will always miss people and places
no matter where i go,
i could always be somewhere else
there is always the possibility of greener grass elsewhere
but
i am here now
(wherever you go... there you are!!!)
appreciate each moment
there will always be darkness to gripe about
and imperfections to pick at
there are points of learning in everything
remain openhearted
and follow the best, most suitable, brightest path
maybe it's not the easiest path
maybe it's not even a clear path
God! i have bushwhacked for so long
path becomes clearer with each step
each moment of silence providing more nourishment for further growth
but what if...?
you will have enough
everything you need
will come
maybe it will be difficult
but you will be okay
everything
is
possible
redefine
your boundaries
infinite
but know your limitations
and turn them into opportunities
current limitation= right wrist
opportunity for ample rest and growth
cherishing this sacred stillness
as i lick
the knife's edge
reopening old wounds
to reexamine them
and heal unhealed pieces
falling down down Death Valley down only to climb back up again, gross and dirty, ready
working hard
rising up, then
stronger than the winds on Everest
