the Fall

August 7, 2006... the Fall. It's been four years now. Thank you...

August itinerary

7/26 - 8/6= staffing kids' farm camp and African dance theater camp at Orchard Hill Farm (NH)

8/6 - 8/8= Daughters of the Earth gathering at Earthlands (MA) (I need a ride down from NH, if you know anyone...)

8/9 - 8/14?= Earthstory gathering at Earthlands (MA) (and then I need a ride up to northern VT, if you know anyone...)

8/15 - 8/21= Vision Quest (VT) 

final two weeks of the month... don't know yet. I will probably hangout with Luz Elena in Brattleboro, VT. I want to see Keith, Mira, Efan, Jason, Kalyan, Darcey, and Sean sometime this summer, too. I also want some kind of backpacking / survival camping trip. So, hopefully a small extended visit to Keith's farm and/or Kalyan's new farm, too. 

... and then I plan to return to Connecticut before September 5 for the Red Tent that day, and then start Two Coyotes' autumn children's programs on September 6! 

desires

i really wanted!

to return to the desert

and work with "at-risk" youth

beautiful shining teenagers that society can't yet accept

and learn from plant-man doug

and a bunch of burros

and cacti 

and mountains

and a sky so big and wide

that my heart floods with blue

that merges with red

into the most vivid healing purple i've ever seen

as the hot desert rocks boom their deep booms 

and i know that 

we are held

i really wanted! 

to stay here and cultivate 

the relationships and seeds that i've set

and slowly watched sprout 

and am still blossoming 

so much love for so many people 

yet so often feeling so very 

alone 

and struggling

with restlessness and wants and needs and boundaries

boundaries 

don't cross my boundaries 

i am learning to see my boundaries 

and bravely state them when i need to

no more hiding them 

no more hiding 

i am stepping out into the sunshine 

from a morbid smoggy winter 

and sweating beads of mingled pain and pleasure 

the raw honesty of being alive and whole

with black, white, and all rainbow prismatic every nothings

swirled into a giant

center of the universe

cake!

cake

i really wanted!

yes i did! 

and i still do 

but i am learning

thank you

thank you 

for listening and watching and knowing and seeing

and holding and being

and being

just being 

thank you 

for all the prayers seen and unseen,

heard and unheard

for i feel them every time i cry into the wind

and she blows back with a kiss

and i know 

that i am blessed

with seen and unseen 

heard and unheard

thank you 

friends everywhere 

yes love

watching bats fly around at dusk
minnows gathering around my toes and nibbling them
while i am swimming in ice pond
of all places!
yes, ice pond
clouds pink, sky blue
back out into the great known unknown beautiful
yes

saint johnswort

today was a saint johnswort day!

hypericum perforatum 

"perforatum" for the small dots that light filter thru on the leaves

the flowers smell like heaven and will help further repair the ripped-up side of my face (from the Fall)

how does such a little yellow flower work such strong magic? 

i am in love!!

this is summer: june and july plans

if anyone's interested...

my itinerary for the next couple weeks:

this weekend= "ancient and innovative foundations training" with luz elena morey in brattleboro, vt

next week (last week of june)= either camp in woodbridge, ct with justin or visiting friends near northampton, ma

1rst week july= "gaia nature arts camp" for 5-7 yr olds with luz elena morey in brattleboro, vt

that weekend= maybe red tent in hartford, ct; or camping on keith's farm near northampton, ma

2nd week july= housesitting/exploring near brattleboro, vt

3rd week july= "gaia nature arts camp" for 8-12 yr olds with luz elena morey in brattleboro, vt

final week of july= still open

and then aug is mostly open, until aug 20 is women's herbal conference... and i think i will hitch around maine for a bit and explore some mountains i haven't touched yet, check out a high point, dip in the ocean for a few days, etc (mount desert island...!)

pow wow!

the order and preservation of indigenous cultures 

a gathering of tribes, really

disconnected yet (re)connected

the rhythm of the heartbeat drum just sets my heart beating faster

and then slower again

as we attune to the drum 

and attune to each other 

we begin to notice 

our voices coming from a shared breath

of the same quality of air and breathing 

into the nose, down into the belly, out thru the mouth

to be shared some more 

with the trees and fields surrounding

and the eagle soaring above 

riding on that same air current 

of precious breath

gift friend air wind 

take us as we soar 

on air currents of drum song

old songs, new songs, so many songs!

i recorded most

but it will take quite a while for me to really remember them 

for now, three are stuck in my head

seems like every other moment though

i remember another song

and find myself humming yet another pow wow tune

as i toodle around the woods and observe mosses growing

(that same beat thrums in you too huh?) 

many of the songs don't have a literal meaning 

but the feeling that the song evokes

that is what is important 

that is what is intentional

not the words

the words come secondary to the feelings 

yes!

and then at night we women gathered around 

the red clover womens' drum 

for me, it doesn't quite matter who i'm drumming with

so long as we get attuned

and the magic happens 

but there's just something about all us women gathered together

with a drum without a drum 

but ooh that night yes with a drum 

and drumming and singing and laughing and sharing

shining eyes reflecting the stars

with shared hands beating the sacred ancient drum 

something magic

is still here 

and reawakening 

yes!