Joy is Edible

photo from the final day of this year's Jiling-Wilderness-Fast (duan shi, bi guan) 2011
love and so much gratitude to all my friends, family, and people, animals, plants, minerals, and universe in my life!

back from the forest

internet is super slow right now and i have more stories coming for
you, my family (via email) but right now just upload onto this blog...
i am back for the forest. and i am well. more then well!!! radiant and
so happy to be here on this planet! and i will write more when the
internet is faster. :) love y'all!
jiling

tacomepai permaculture design course

here's my classmates with one of our teachers, sandot (next to me).
not pictured but making the photo is damien, my brother monkey and
sandot's co-teacher of this permaculture course. wooo! :)
here, we are in the rice paddy field, right before planting. THIS is
the most important thing in the world... our food! where does it come
from? the EARTH!
human+nature= paradise
yes!

wild passionflower

permaculture course ended today

i can't wait to make a home on a nice piece of land close to national forest/ wildlands and put all these great ideas into practice... grow food, herbs, edible forest garden, store water, build an eco efficient home...

am super inspired... and also, craving a more permanent home

passionflower... i have dreamed of this flower many times, and it is everywhere here with delicious wild fruits. it is love that grows on a vine

and then these people? the vibrant lady next to me is sandot's mother, and sandot's the man with the huge smile in the center of the photo (the genius behind my current farm). damien is my big brother monkey, on the far right. shen is another vegan, right above him.

this is home for now, but one day...

difficult to stay "present" when i can't help but wonder where, when, how i will make Home!

rainbow

hot all day

temperate to arid climate with a nice sun spread over a blue sky and clouds drifting in and out

face up close into pungent bucket after bucket of effective microorganisms for the compost

compost tea, compost buckets, worm farms, fruit trees galore

all this is old stuff that i never quite understood from my dad and here it comes again

permaculture

rising from the bucket to drop my shoes off and sprint to a new pond to test the waters depth

and stop running, awestruck at the sky

rainbow stretching from where rice paddies lie with freshly planted rice babies

all the way over to the other side of the farm where dam after dam holds rich waters rich soils

all clothes off, all pretense aside, the pond is dark and muddy and deliciously warm and cold in parts

fish nibbling my limbs, sometimes with sharp teeth

drums and singing over by the kitchen with fire and delicious thai food

bananas and coconut milk

this rainbow

i saw this same rainbow over orchard hill farm almost a year ago

almost a year already since i left america

i can say

i don't miss you but i love you and i know that you know the difference

but the truth of the matter is

well, i miss you

i miss you with your smiles, laughter, unconditional love, and understanding

i miss you with all the plants, people, and friends that i know so well

i miss you with all the comfort and sweetness that is present every single place

and in every single person and plant

all the comfort and sweetness present in every rainbow molecule dreambeat drumbeat of my spirit being whole present now flesh breath blood bone fat movement patience strength grace

when you enter the forest

you enter the belly of the mother

re-enter

this shared breath gift love presence

i acknowledge this pain

i breathe into this darkness

i embrace this light

and dance with shadow

finding the myriad rainbows amongst the patiently flowing pond waters curves

amongst the dancing flames transforming green bananas into dinner

tacomepai, thailand

am now on tacomepai farm right outside of pai, thailand

from a nothing land with bad soil 20 years ago

to now, a teeming edible forest garden with fruit trees, wild edible and medicinal foodie-heaven treasures hiding up, down, all around

and simple lovely beauty everywhere

and i don't intend to touch computer for a while again, while i am here :)

am currently living in a treehouse again

above a small stream

sound of reassuring mama river all night long nourishes deepest of dreams and cleansing sleep

this land is sacred and medicinal and i am grateful to be here

everyday is a gift and the most amazing people show up in my life

it is summer, there is fruit everywhere, frogs and river sing me to sleep, birds and sunshine bless me awake

love, gratitude, and big open heart

on goodbye

it's rare to be the one
getting said goodbye to
being on this side of the river
i know now why my grandma was crying
when she dropped me off at the bus station
when i left for china
for 3 months
i hope she's not sad
that i haven't returned yet
but once i return
perhaps after another 3 months
i will leave again
leaving her on the other side of the river again
where i am standing now
having waved my friend away
a motorbike into the distance
the sound fading away, the sight already gone
but the heart ties still there
how strong, the heart ties?

i don't like being on this side of the river
waving goodbye
and now i feel guilty for usually being the one on the other side of the river
jolly waving farewell
looking forward into the rising sun
whilst the moon sets on the back side of the river
where i stand now
still waving
pieces of my heart riding away with the motorcycle

grandma, mother, father, sister, friends who are family
i want to say "come join me on this side of the river"
and "let us never part"
and "why do i always say goodbye"

today i know
yet again
that i do not know

but there is a certain wind
and there is a certain earth
and the chinese word for peace
is the same word for
balance

(let us live the questions
let us not be afraid to walk into the fiery sun
be it rising or setting
and to grasp the tails of the comets
and ride them as far as they will take us
let us bravely stand at the edges of volcanoes
and stare deep into an endless abyss
great cavernous mysterious eyes that stare back
let us be
waves on this immense ocean
flowing steady wild rhythmic uncontrollable
gravitationally pulled to solid earth magnetism
and drawn by mystical moon off somewhere we can't quite always see)

china photos from jesse

master photographer jesse warren does it yet again with multiple flash extended exposure photography for jiling's last night in shenzhen, china... well, almost a month ago now. thanks shenzhen, china once again for 3 months of new friends, deep challenges, and infinite lessons that i will keep learning the rest of my life

(night picnic at lianhuashan park)