addendum

do you know what "completely alive" even feels like, oh "normal" person???

office work: enlightenment

working in an office for two weeks has helped me gain enlightenment around this part of my being:

 

I'D RATHER BE DEAD THAN PARTIALLY ALIVE

 

almost done. our final program is the last week of may. 2.5 more weeks of office hell. and then, never again. i say the same about the city. only ___ more days, and then never again.

 

we'll see, right?

well,

 

I'D RATHER BE COMPLETELY ALIVE THAN PARTIALLY DEAD

thailand

jiling puts her pack on her back, her wings on her pack, and her glasses on her face to fly from china to thailand and land with sandals firmly on solid THAILAND earth on june 1, with the new moon (oh what a new moon this shall be!)

 

landings: chiang mai, pai, and more mysteries to understand regarding massage, permaculture, plants, elders, and more

total of thai-landing days planned: 1-3 months

on beauty and magic

i want to create something so beautiful, magical, and long lasting that will live longer than i (mere precious body) ever will

i have arisen! i am awake!

i want to birth something so beautiful the world has never seen

be more than rainbow with all my colors and more than toned in all my shades

i want to be indefinable, unnamable, unwordable because all the creation is so immense

so extradinarily amazing that nothing can even near describe its magnificence

i want to be a poet, an artist, a woman creator extradordinaire birthing beauties previously unimagined, sculpting landscapes out of sand particles unseen, unheard, unnamed

i paint the sky purple when eyes closed fly me away

and fingers point and burst with flames on one, water from another hand, another finger, another endless potential

cupped hands together, forming energy ball of potential, swirling

i just want to make something beautiful

but i'm not sure where to start

and so i open my eyes and begin

this dream

let's

let's dance thru the streets way past midnight, and sing songs in tunnels with taxis and bikers zooming thru staring, and make faces thru the restaurant window at confused and laughing passerbys, and share and talk and laugh for as long as we can (oh is the sun rising again already?) for this life is PRECIOUS and we are truly unique, kind, and BEAUTIFUL, and this world is FULL of infinite wonder, beauty, and possibility

chocolate

well!

it is spring!

birds are singing

stars are exploding

flowers are beaming

and new winds are blowing from old places!

thankSky

same moon rises over endless city lights

same moon rises over endless desertscape of waving chapparal

the most beautiful sunrise in the world

every

day

 

 

(i met him for a few minutes. we didn't talk much, but i pointed out the full moon. he asked me then, if i missed my homeland. well, yes. i reply. but also, i am here. this is it. but yes... i still miss it.

thank Sky for that which is constant in Life)

time

fifteen years ago

where i am standing, sleeping, jumping right now

with infinite tons of buildings scraping sky and sitting heavy on earth

this used to be a fish pond