mi familia

lovelovelove

train back across the country from vt to gila, nm to ca

photos from autumn 2010 train ride back from vermont to gila, nm to california again!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2826701&id=2514403&l=58d3a01987

mojave national preserve

photos from weekend shared with mojave desert, big sky, adrian, and sierra
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2826796&id=2514403&l=b8abe05dac

mmm

after sun went to sleep
i watched the moon
and realized
that when she is full again
i will be on the other side of this earth
still saying good night sun and hello moon
and wondering still and again
what am i doing
here
?

woosh

pulled north south east west in equal portions
for firm balance of center yes
the stillness of this momentous presence is so
stillingly alive with
emptyful

poem for a sunrise we

(from a Mojave sunrise)

i see you everywhere---
you are in the movement of Wind
as she rises from Valley
up thru Canyon
down into another Canyon
you are the cold kiss of morning dew
wet on my sleeping bag
a reminder of last night's thunderstorm
over the mountains
you are all the birds shaking and waking
you are their song as they
greet Sun's pink glow
rising over tanned and blushing cliffs
you are the transition from night to day
with owls hooting to an end
and children's laughter and morning yawns
you are the birth of a baby goat arising
coming steaming into the reality of day
blinking into being
sticky with Creator's juices
you are the tingle in my fingers
when i lay them over my food
and give thanks for their
nourishment and abundance
you are the joy and pain that is one
in my Heart
you are the light that shines
from the farthest Star
to warm my cold nights
you are the very pen and my very fingers
you are so very momentous i and we
that
welcome to this Moment
as we breathe and heartbeat,
intertwined into
we are
that which is unspeakable
but so very touchable
here
now let's kiss

joshua tree and mojave national preserve

(this stream-of-consciousness written with so much love and gratitude to aaron for sharing my jtree adventure, and adrian/sierra for sharing my mojave adventure)

we see the most incredible sunrises and sunsets in the desert
eyes open wide, body tightly plastered to rock, breath so deep
that it booms against the very cliffs and canyons
and then evaporates so quickly into the air
that it manifests
as the reddest loudest yet most silent
magnificent
sunsets and sunrises we have ever seen in our lives
coyotes howling nightly to a descending moon
until moon is so dense that we can't see her anymore
only her posse of wild outlaw stars singing loudly
the international anthem of the universe
giving directions on how to walk the beauty way
in such a way
indescribable
joshua tree for a week with aaron, yes indescribable
fullness, presence, breadth, reality...
pure being
so much laughter and sinking down, rising up with earth and winds
moment to moment presence
i can't word this yet
but i can say
wow
i am so grateful for my brothers and sisters in this world
and i am so grateful for the mountains and deserts and wild places
grateful for plant and animal friends and teachers
(we all teachers and students. the best students are best teachers and etcetera)
grateful for conversations so rich that they last all night
and we are surprised that the sun is rising already
grateful for the invisibly visible and present art gift of improvisation
vocal cords jamming and intertwining with each other, heartstrings, and rocks
grateful for warning rattles on rattlesnakes that hide in caves that i stand in front of
grateful for ancient natives who used to do ceremony in front of these caves
and infused them with grace, power, and unspeakable energy
grateful for young and old people who still remember old old stories
and grateful for the gift to weave new new stories with old old rhythms
grateful for old rhythms, woven in new ways
grateful for eyes that see, and hands that know
and a feeling of comfortableness borne of eons of knowing each other
grateful to see you again, and reconnect
grateful for SHE (Sacred Healing Elixirs) of all sorts
grateful for spirits that rise into my cheeks and make them blossom for days
grateful for plant medicines that turn our skins brown, not burnt red
grateful for shamanic journeys that take us farther than roads ever could
purely grateful
and filled with lovelovelove
(we even made a "son"!)
and then weekend with adrian and sierra at mojave national preserve
driving for what felt like days and days
are we there yet?
yes we are here
no we are not
we are here. welcome to the present moment. :)
jaz!
okay...
well here we are standing so close to the peak
i know that the wind is blowing so hard
but this is a once in a lifetime kinda thing
it's now or never
never!
well... let's put it this way
we are very close to the top
it won't hurt (that much)
and you can tell your baby sister about this and then share it with her one day
plus the wind is not so bad up there
and you can touch the sky!
okay
yes! wow what a view what a sky what a landscape
these mountains that roll all over
once upon a time we named it all "god poop"
and now i realize it's really yes god's compost heap
all these boulders and stones scattered thru the landscape...
once upon a time, all this was ocean
and then tectonic plates moving and shifting until
once upon a time, underwater mountains
and mountains rising and rising until
landscapes
limestone
fossils and artifacts and caves deep down under
let's dance down this hill and sprint until we make the most beautiful sand art
let's leave drawings of hearts and suns in the sand, next to the small green plants
they appreciate it
did you just feel that fairy kiss?
you see all those holes in the rocks?
a fairy spirit lives in each hole
jesse james used to live in a hole in the wall here too
there's a deep feeling of sacredness and
wow
can you feel the sacred silence?
did you feel that tingle?
we are being watched
and we are being blessed
sending out the intention now then for only the good spirits...
and back up to sky again
down in the cave it was so dark and dank and magical
fire by night for the most incredible meals i know how to make
roasting it directly over the fire sweet flame thank you
looking up at all the shooting stars
waking up in the middle of the night to look at each other, smile, and share dreams
until sun rises and we exclaim hooray for another day of being alive!
and wow our dreams are so similar!
i wonder if there's a magical cord that extends from my head to yours at night
whilst we sleep
and dream?
then back to the silent aloneness of just me and desert sky
after all the cars have rolled away and even the mouse is asleep
it's just me and you again
just like old days
i feel a richness that comes from being with people though
there is a richness to both being with others and just being with myself
initially, after both sets of cars left, i felt huge loneliness
and then gradually gradually
sky descended
song entered
and i could feel my heart beating with the trembling mountains and twinkling stars
closing my eyes i can see the elder with glowing hands placing flames into my belly and heart
i can feel the heat rising, balanced with water
(and more on that story, just ask me and i will tell you when it's time)
(when it's time, all these mountains will grind back into pure white sand
and we will bathe with them in pure white light)

yes

be the change
(winds never sit still)
you wish
(upon the stars we're created from)
to see
(butterfly dream)
in
(and all around the everynothingness of all great every)
the world
(darling, that's you)