counting stars

for those who are counting,
i am also
i've been waiting and watching
and figuring and wondering
how one day fits into another and into another
so the weeks fly by and months fade into years into jeans into sheets into fires into ashes
for those who are counting
who's counting the stars?

we stood and watched sky turning from dusk into dawn
we sat and watched flames charring coals down into dust
we walked and walked over mountains and rivers
and now
we are
here

who's counting the stars?
seeing falling stars one by one
universe churning (tiny mighty we)
"there's the milky way"
"yes, and we are on the very edge of it"
"and there's more?"
"there's more"

he saw his first shooting star with us that night
and the years fly by and fade away
and he will still dream of this when old and toothless
these memories will swim with him as he floats through life

she walked with a limp on heels hurt borne of anger
a small pinky on her right hand hurt from anger
blind black rage borne of hidden old pains hiding in her gut
wrenching and twisting her every full moon as she bleeds and screams
into waiting darkness

who's counting the stars?
children of pain and loss, children of love and joy
i am walking and watching of you
you are walking and watching of i
we twine and intertwine
fingers weaving unbreakable fields of hearts
hearts blooming and blossoming on fresh winds and soarings

until it's harvest time
back to the earth
back to the mother
fade this away
so it can regrow another

back to the earth
back to the mother
fade this away
so i may regrow another
compost time
pithy pitchy pine of deep forest
giant sequoia hug and hold me
my heart is sinking into this mother
it is midnight here and noon over there
it is midnight here and dawn over there there
it is dawn over there there and dusk over there there there
who am i to say
who am i
who am i to say
where am i
i am here
turning with the here here there there
rolling with the it yes all mighty
sitting standing walking
BEING
with all yes
counting the stars
yes counting the stars!
i am counting the stars
in your eyes
in the dirt
in the leaves
in my heart

days for the stars to count

(from an email)
---
hello loved ones!

i hope you're enjoying the autumn winds!
i am about ready to head west again...
and i finally booked a ticket back! and finalized plans!

am leaving brattleboro, vt / new england on oct 4 via train
landing in new mexico on oct 7 (new moon) to hangout with a landscape i've been dreaming about for the past year.. and my plant man elder named doug :)

will be leaving new mexico week of oct 18 in time for (full moon) back in california... back to la familia of blood relations and old friends and MY MOUNTAINS! mmm

and then plan is to head to taiwan either week 2 or 3 of november (new moon, rising)
my grandma's birthday is week 4 of that month. right on time :)

(sigh) yes yes
lovelovelove
big thanks, big winds, big stones, big Love!!!
(small world)
me
jiling

yes

sing my body electric 

dance my mind unbound

unwind my fears like dandelion seeds 

and toss me into currents of surrender

release my unwinding like electricity of stars

trembling night beings jumping 

into depths of the unknown 

jump my lightning cords like 

bells on the wind

and then toss me up 

into the highest of forest trees

for i'm anchored

below the stones

red

drops of red blood

land on white quartz

red leaves above

blue sky above further

beyond white clouds

poof

and the land changes

poof

and wrinkles arise 

poof

drops of red blood

on leaves once green and now red

drops of red blood

on legs once bare and now bleeding

good night, connecticut moons

composed of all old endings

renewals stretch past horizons

where shall i walk

with legs so strong so new

roses in my stomach

butterflies in my heart

a new moon in the non-moon sky

this is a brand new start

hmmmmm

when i 

hmmmmm

roots extend down 

from feet to

hmmmmm

earth

and then

deeper still

for mama earth, etc (yes yes, love love)

i like 

(quite so very much) 

the taste

(salty sweat taste like tears)

(open mouth as i walk thru the forest)

of you 

(you! all around and within and every me)

i like

(yes like the desert loves the rain)

the smell

(nostrils dilating to heartbeat rhythm mother)

(shadows smell different than sunlight)

of you

(you! again! as am i!)

i like 

(infinite and beyond universe yes)

the look

(we see each other. we really do)

(different colors that come from the same source)

of you

(love. that's all we are)

i like 

(yes yes yes)

the sound

(waves crashing of infinite oceans)

(open ears open eyes open heart)

of you 

(open everything courageous everything)

i love

(lovelovevolvelove)

the feel

(rhymthic mother heartbeat mine as yours)

(when i open i feel as i am)

of you 

(i love you

i love i)

mmm

sun-baked bones

i'm rising from my own ashes

so that i may better understand them 

and ride the flames as brightly 

as i as ashes float on the wind

and then bury back into the damp musk of

soil