addendum

... but then again, life is short

and if not now, 

then when? 

oh!

i have so much desires 

i want to do everything 

enough

that perhaps it's best 

just to do 

nothing

coyote, snake, and caterpillar

i rarely even hear coyote over here, and very much miss the nightly coyote chorus of the desert southwest. but today, i saw my first coyote here in connecticut... and he looked healthy, though i think he would do better even deeper in the woods, perhaps out of this part of the state. we connected eyes, which shook my spirit in the best most magical way possible. 

when i saw snake, it was mere seconds after thinking "snake." i looked up at a cluster of rocks, thinking it would be a nice place to sit for a while, then i thought, "no; there should be snakes there, too." then i saw snake! chillaxing, staring at different rocks. snake never fails to get some kind of scream out of me... primal innate fear, and great respect. watched him slither off... he seemed very relaxed. 

caterpillar was dangling on a small silken cord off a tall tree, waving to and fro in the wind, struggling, struggling! like a tightrope walker with a broken tightrope, hanging on for dear life! 

and then ofcourse, winds were big and nice today...

bear!

that day, the other class (older clan) saw a bear! 

tracked it down; it tracked them down

more and more magic

barred owl

we saw a barred owl in class, a few weeks ago

her face looks like a modigliani painting:

big round eyes with a big long nose, circular head

magical feeling

we hooted back and forth to owl, as we crawled up a hill, and she sat in a tree

"i will never forget today" the kids agreed 

brave new

earth shaking
sky flashing
I AM SORRY!
to a tremble rumble flash shake sky
trees falling
on babies crawling
NO!
to a robot driven go go lie
walking forward
falling down
grasping upwards
tumbling down down down
striving to remember
remember
magic of simple nights just watching
stars walk across purple skies
simple waters rushing complex patterns
sunlight hitting reflections onto
solid mountain granite ageless stone
unmoving face that suddenly breaks
tumbling down down down
into cocoon morphing
trembling naked butterfly
new to a
brave new world

tree love 2

tree love

river wind lava stones

more spring flowers

mama

mother's day card! <3

stardust

i watched the moon today through a huge telescope
saw its' mountains, valleys, craters, and more...
moon in the sky,
always watching and knowing
having patiently and gently watched our ancestors as they crawled from water to land, swung from tree to earth, danced from earth to sky
i feel small yet massive
we are made of stardust
i felt meteors today
traveling so fast thru space at speeds i can't even imagine
to land, hunk of black magnetic metal
on our planet
we walk around on two legs and take ourselves so seriously
while the moon slowly moves away from the earth
our sun slowly dies
and dust, stones, and more spin and spin around saturn
who really is as magical looking and feeling as i've always imagined
we are more than just our two legs and our ridiculous seriousness
so much more
we are nothing and everything
all rolled into one great
magic mudball

things

i am obsessed
with throwing things away
and compacting things into small bins of the same sort
even though they're not my things
i think subconsciously
i know
that i am going somewhere
even if it's the same place
i am still going
somewhere
and i am getting rid of
things
to make space for more
space

old and new day

going somewhere again in two weeks
if not going somewhere again
moment by moment
while remaining still and present

light being floating in space
from elemental connection
of caves, oceans, flames, and gusts of winds
to nothing and everythingness

fresh candles and glossy red lips today
remixing old wax for new candles
remixing old oils for new salves
and then stretching tall for a long bike ride
down

rebirthing experience from before until now
recreating old boxes into new possibilities
reframing my head until suddenly it's all clear
and then i will dye it a forest green, or desert red

hands that hold, hands that support
hands that give, hands that receive
hands that balance and move
and dance on their own, and dance of our own

the sky is grey today
and i am whatever colors the moments bring

trash and gifts

it's a nonstop thing
this cleaning business
it's not just my own trash i need to clean up, clear out
it's other people's trash too

i also hold trash from my parents, and their parents, and their parent's parents
and i hold trash from my friends, and their friends, and their friend's friends
and as if all that isn't enough
there's trash from the whole entire world too

but along with the trash comes gifts
gifts that sometimes hide the trash
gifts that sometimes hide behind the trash

i'm tired of cleaning
but oh does it feel nice when all the trash is gone
and i am just surrounded by gifts

if

if
drip-drop sunsets
melt and mold
into dewdrop day gleam
shine star morning sun
into
melting and molding
drip-drop rain glimmers
life-giving to dry dust dirt
mish mash mixing
to form mud glorious mud
rising
by wind push pull drag run
fly
to embrace
heat source light love of all
sun

sit-spot: noon to dusk- some mountain- Bethany, CT

I've been around Connecticut for a total of about 10 months now. Since getting into this state, I've only hitchiked twice: once to visit Justin, the other time today. The last time, it took forever. Today, it was about as smooth as it gets: I stick out my thumb at the first car that passes, he stops and picks me up, we have nice conversation and find things in common, I get where I need to go... right before it gets dark. How perfect? Completely perfect. :)
Oh, and of the 10 months, this is also the second time getting "lost." Rare occasion. I cherished it.
Violets, quite an array: purple, yellow, purple with white dots, white with purple dots, white and purple striped (like a circus, yes!)
Mosquitoes got a meal today. I followed the stream down, in an attempt to get back to the stream I started at... got to a waterfall, instead. A "private" waterfall. Landed in rich man's land. Was amazed I caught a ride immediately! Hitchhiking is a great way of dispelling preconceived notions... and sometimes underlining them.
Big rocks up to, around, and on top of the mountain. Fabulous rocks to dance on, sing to, sleep with. I enjoyed them; they enjoyed me; we had a grand old time.
And now my feet are sore from barefoot running, jumping, dancing, lost-and-found-making all afternoon... and I am very pleased. :)
The town from up high looks so small. The trees overshadow the town. Trees in what looks like four rows: the front row of tall soft green trees, second row of reddish trees, third row soft green again, fourth row darker green. And many songs running through my head, including a line, "I see blue skies, I see butterflies, for us." Looking up to blue skies and black butterfly, yellow butterfly, white butterfly, and bees too. Oh, there's beauty everywhere. (and then, no word songs, just heartbeat and breath songs. mmm yes, maybe the best song of all)