10.27.2011

this is where your herbs come from

southern china herb factory

NOW

There is NOTHING to be afraid of. 
There is NO risk. 
What's the worst thing that could happen? 
You could die? 
You will die anyways. 
And, most likely, you won't die anytime soon. 
You've got quite a long road ahead of you still, like it or not. 
But, time goes by quickly and it could all end in a millisecond. 
So, what do you CHOOSE to do with your ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE? 
WHAT ARE YOU DOING right NOW?
Are your actions in line with your values? 
Are you living the Life of your Dreams? 
If not... then WHY NOT? 
There is NOTHING holding you back. 
There is NOTHING to be afraid of. 
Once you commit to the jump, all the World will rush to hold and support you in preparation of your inevitable landing. 
And, that landing
that commitment 
that risk...
What is Life, if not one huge risk, one huge leap, one huge YES!
And then, another risk, another leap, another YES! 
And then another, and another... 
and sometimes they are leaps, 
and other times, they are just steps.
And every single time, it is a SURRENDER to all the Universe that sometimes whispers and sometimes shouts, 
I LOVE YOU! 
TRUST me. 
Live the Life of your dreams,
and jump. 
Do not be afraid, for THERE IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF. 
Smile at the person sitting next to you on the subway. 
Climb that pretty tree with the inviting branches that you walk by everyday.
Flirt with the cutie you've been secretly staring at from the other side of the room.
Eat the cookies you've been saving for "that special occasion." 
The "special occasion" is NOW. 
Go to all the places you've always dreamed of going to. 
Money is not an issue. It will arrive when needed. 
Catch a bus ride to somewhere you've never been before, and just walk. 
Stick out your thumb, smile, see what happens. 
Dance in the streets. 
Sing songs to strangers. 
Show up in group photos with people you just met. 
Smell all the pretty flowers you pass by. 
Do all things you'd always said, "No, I wouldn't dare," or, "maybe tomorrow," or, "but..." 
If I commit to this flip, this leap, this spin, twirl, twist, full complete action that my body is fully CAPABLE of doing but my mind is AFRAID of doing... 
if I remain afraid, then I will fail. And I will, most miserably, fall. 
But, if I COMMIT to this action, and I TRUST... even in all my not knowing, I TRUST... 
then that trust places everything else in place for successful flight and a strong landing... and flip, leap, spin, twirl, or ANYTHING... yes, I can. Yes, I trust. YES! I dare. 
Our body-mind-heart-spirit selves are just as YES as we allow ourselves to be. 

找工作與休息

我今天整天呆在家裡休息, 睡覺, 做夢, 唸書, 與畫畫。。。 好爽哦!下午去植物園看蓮花和靜坐。。。 好棒, 好舒服。。。 
昨天曾老師給我針灸, 這幾天喝豆腐師哥的中藥, 跟阿凱師哥聊天。。。 我感冒一定會好的。今天。 now. 

又在找工作了。。。 需要很好的幫手嗎? :) 
am searching for taiwan jobs again... 
let me know if you need some excellent help ;) 

LOVE!!!

10.24.2011

venus

five rhythms: flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical, stillness
each a single dance, together a circle 
five seasons, including the transitions between the seasons 
a time of great movement and resting 
five elements: water births wood, births fire, births earth, births metal, 
and then back to the source again, around and around 
and it's all connected
each a single dance, and together another circle 
circles within circles and intersecting circles 
chinese traditional dances and movement meditations in circles
western tradition moving in lines and angles 
five tastes, five emotions, five yin organs, six yang organs
correspondences moving and moving in on and on circles 
and i wonder how on earth does an alien who wants to be an earthling again manage to move back into the circle 
how does one summon up bravery to say, YO! i wanna be part of your circle 
and I'M NOT AFRAID to love and live and laugh
and cry so hard that all the neighbors poke their heads out the windows far enough for all the alien (who are not alien) plants and sky and other friends all SEE 
and smile 

been coughing now for a full month 
lungs/ chest area is connected with metal element
and time of autumn transition 
and too much internal fire 
and emotion of sadness 
everytime i see venus in the sky at night 
(she shines so brightly especially in the mountains, but even under the vegas-style nonstop city lights) 
i remember every place and all the people i know and love 
and i feel the love 
but i also feel sad 
it's one thing to say "i don't miss you... i love you know. and i know you know the difference." 
and it's another thing to feel like 
time passes by so quickly 
and i wonder when/ if i will ever see you again 

in the key of WEEE


10.19.2011

eyes that see

每個禮拜如風而飛過去。 風飛過去, 會留著這兒一片移動的葉子, 那兒幾滴小水珠。 風是控制不了的。 
I spend about half my week in the 平地 areas, and the other half of my week 在此山中。 (half my week easy to find in the city... somewhere zooming around via bike, fast little turbo legs, or subway... teaching or being taught... reading or writing... eating or sleeping... and the other half of my week allowing myself to be "nobody" again and absolutely 沒用的木頭會活得最久 in the midst of so much family and forest in the mountains) 
it is the type of balance that makes the two months I've already been in Taiwan feel like... I've crammed a lot into one week. It feels like one week. 
我的媽媽要回來台灣了! 
是第一次我媽媽跑來看我!
usually I'm in more remote/ difficult to find/ difficult to understand places. This time, I'm in Taipei,Taiwan. My parents grew up here, and then left for school. This is no longer Home-home... but it's still a home. Coming here is no big deal... just about a 15 hour flight across the Ocean to the other side of the planet, where everyone looks completely different than your usual American white bread, and we all speak a different language here. 
And, I LOVE it!!!
I love it. 
And, I'm gonna see my mama again, after a year! 
Already a year away from America. 
I miss people and I miss places... and I wonder when I will return. 
If I return. 
今天想到很多時間上的問題。 
(live your questions. be your answer.) 
在針灸課, 我們剛剛談到眼。。。 eye-diagnosis (Chinese medicine diagnoses= 1. 把脈/ pulse diagnosis 2. tongue diagnosis 3. eye diagnosis 4. sensory diagnosis: evaluating the patients' smell, how they look, how they sound 5. questioning: asking about the patients' environmental, personal, emotional, and other elements of life that all come together to quite super duper holistically manifest themselves in their health and general well-being)
not as complicated as it sounds, and absolutely fascinating 
learning about eye-diagnosis, I look into the mirror and see that I have accumulated way too many late-nights in my life... and my eyes record all these late nights as far too many blood vessels popped and squeezed to the edges of my entire eyeball
our body as a microcosm of the macrocosm 
my body, my Universe
this Universe, oh how I want to take the best care of you! 
前天晚上, 老師幫我下眼針。。。 我怕針, 我怕痛! 
現在, 要少帶眼鏡, go to sleep between 11-12 at night, eat more C (橘子, 獅子, 柚子, 木瓜, 紅蘿蔔, 白蘿蔔, 番薯。。。)

a fight ensues on the metro
never seen this before 
young woman yelling at old man yelling at young woman
they spit at each other 
why don't you just punch each other, roll around, get it over with 
but, i am glad you are yelling 
i want to yell too, but i will wait until i get back into the mountains 
the city is too small and tight for such passionate energy 
everyone's got it all bottled up 

not me
off for another mountain weekend 
see you in the trees

10.18.2011

toilet humor

I walk by the bathroom
"hello teacher Osha!" a kid declares with pants around ankles
a bathroom stall opens
"Teacher Osha!!!" the kid inside sticks his head out, "I am shitting!"
kindergardener kids always make me smile, no matter how tired I get!

wonder? want?

My dance teacher won't come up the mountain with me for body therapy. He has an old hurt shoulder. My Chinese medicine teacher isn't certified, so my dance teacher is afraid. But, he says that once I finish learning these things, he will trust me to help him with his shoulder. Sometimes, you need to meet people first to trust them? But can't I say "If you would trust me... won't you trust my teacher?" But, no.
 
I carry my book of meridians with me everywhere. My Chinese is improving. The weight of the book in my bag gives me a strong back. This morning, I stuck three large body-meridian-human pictures onto my wall, across from my bed, in my small room. It's the first thing I see when I wake up, besides the loving sweet light of yet another day filtering in through the windows. I love waking up in the mornings.
 
So much to learn. So much to help. So many ways to help.
 
Me first, before anyone else.
Can help myself and simultaneously help others.
Sometimes feel completely overwhelmed by all I want to learn... feel like I cannot learn fast enough.
My dance teacher has hurt shoulder.
My other dance teacher has hurt knees.
My own knees hurt.
I still have trauma from the mountain, that we will discuss with the whole class, next class.
I want to climb endless mountains.
I want to play outside all day, and dance until I can dance no more.
I want to make music and make love until sun comes up and keep on doing it until my eyes are bloodshot and weary, and I die from exhaustion.
I want to sleep forever and just rest so fully in some hot spring right next to the coldest stream on earth in the most remote and gorgeous mountains unknown by human eyes.
My friend has difficulty falling asleep and wakes up feeling like something is not quite right in her life... something not quite fulfilled.
I can talk with her, but how to push her over the edge, how to help her get going. Because that's what we both agree she needs... to get going with what is unfulfilling, and move it forward in her life.
Another friend just got booted off his under-the-table job, and now has no money to pay for debts.
I wonder if I too should go to grad school and accumulate debt and learn a lot and then enter the world with yet another degree and even less money than I have now.
I wonder
I want
 
Today, we learned about manipulation and locomotion in dance class.
I am beginning to feel restless and desire to locomote again,
while at the same time feeling so deeply grateful to be here surrounded by all these amazing friends, teachers, and family family family of all colors and varieties, and am contemplating challenging myself by staying here for a year, like I stayed in Connecticut for a year.
 
I wonder
 
I want?